kids

“Julia is so sensitive I can’t say anything to her without it causing a big blow-up!” exclaimed Julia’s mom. “How am I supposed to raise this kid when I can’t even talk to her?!”

Julia’s mother had a good point. She needed to be able to "parent" her daughter without worrying what the fallout would be. But Julia was typical of many teenagers who feel entitled to impose their moods or frustrations on others simply because they feel, well, moody or frustrated. Shrewd and savvy, these teenagers have learned to exploit their parents’ wishes to avoid a bigger, louder and messier argument.

The guiding rule of action should be to intervene too early rather than too late. ~ Dan Olweus, PhD, and founder of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program

Although bullying prevention efforts tend to focus on middle schools and high schools, bullying behavior begins at much younger ages.  According to researchers and developers of the Eyes on Bullying Program, Dr. Ronald G. Slaby and Dr. Kim Storey, it starts as early as 4-years old:

When my kids were younger, (ages 5 and 3) they asked me if we could host a lemonade stand in our neighborhood during their summer break. I thought it would be a great opportunity to teach them a lesson in basic economics. Testing a bit of supply and demand theory, we tried a few lemonade stands first, getting a feel for pricing and purchasing.  Our sale was a grand success and the kids brought in $33 in gross profit. Having determined in advance that we would give a portion of our profits to charity, I found that our little economic lesson also allowed me to teach my children the basics about philanthropy.

Perhaps you and your husband have been married for a little over a year. You both want children but want to know when is the best time for us to start trying? Is there ever really a best time? Most of your friends already have children, and you’re starting to feel as if you should get started a little sooner than later. That, and both of your parents keep not-so-subtly hinting that they are ready to be grandparents. But are you ready to have kids?

Ever wonder why your teen takes a pass on your advice? Especially when you know for a fact that it's really good?

Here are three reasons why teenagers might look elsewhere for solutions or support, or nowhere at all. It can explain those times when they stick with a bad decision even though they know it's bad, or insist on being right even when it flies in the face of all reason. Are they being difficult or defiant? Probably not. Often they're just trying to save face after having painted themselves in a corner, or trying to avoid the feeling that they are losing or giving in. I think if we as parents, teachers, and counselors made it easier for children and teenagers to change their minds or reverse course we'd see a lot more flexibility and better decision-making in the kids we love and care about.

The topic of bullying continues. Parents have questions, and this parenting expert has the answers! How can I prevent my child from being a bully? What is the new breed of bullies? What are some tips and advice to help children who are being bullied? What are parenting tips to help their children if parents discover their child is being bullied? What are signs that your child may be being bullied? These are just but a few of the top questions that parents ask about with regards to bullying. Provided below are the top 7 questions asked and answered from this Family Therapist/Psychotherapist’s lens.

Children can be reflective of you, but they are not you. Their choices will be different from those you would make, as it should be. The paths they are destined to walk are different from your own. As parents, we may instinctively want to shield them from making the mistakes we made. However, we might discover that in our attempts to do so, sometimes our children overreact to that guidance (no matter how well intentioned it may be) and end up doing something worse.