Tag: conversation

Scott Boyles, a wealth manager at Brightscape Investment Centers in Dallas, Tex., admits that new marriages and money conversations between newlyweds aren’t exactly a big priority—but they should be.

"As a financial planner, I work with many couples on how to manage money," Boyles says. "Yet in my own life, my wife and I had to have difficult talks regarding money through the years because we started a business together."

Boyles and his spouse began discussing the budding business, with all of its financial implications on their lives, before they tied the knot.

We use "typical teen behavior" to refer to a broad range of things our teens do, much of it unbecoming. Whenever they appear moody, or stop talking to us, or resist our reminders about from everything from deadlines to hygiene, our go-to explanation is that they’re just being typical teens.

But are they? Or have we just become so accustomed to thinking about adolescents as defiant and non-communicative that we no longer take the time to try and understand what’s really going on when they seem distant from us or unhappy?

Why you should change yourself instead of your spouse?

Change is hard for a lot of people. When you look at your relationship, I am sure you can see a lot of things our spouse needs to change, but what about you? What do you need to change to have a healthier and more conscious relationship with your spouse?

One thing you may not realize is the only thing you have control over in a conversation is your 50 percent of it. What are you bringing to the discussion? How are you behaving or reacting to things? How are these things impacting the relationship with your spouse?

Most of us don’t realize how frequently we are checked out of our life. We struggle to stay present in the day-to-day with the never-ending onslaught of digital feeds and new devices that offer superficial connectivity at best, but we lose out on the true contact that feeds our soul and makes us human. More and more scientific research is showing how much we give up when we trade the voyeurism of social media for the real-time relating that makes us feel seen and heard.

Even more disturbing is how we are losing the muscle memory to do the messy and gratifying work of truly showing up, risking our heart, and communicating. It is in the trenches of our life, in the mess of people’s feelings spilling over onto us that we are really connected and that we can offer our best self.

You know how there is always that person who can’t wait to bring you down, burst your bubble and tell you how bad things are? Well, sometimes that person is you. Those voices in your head that say you aren’t good enough, life stinks and things will never change. They roll around and around and steal your happiness and your contentment. They urge you to do things that you might regret, and they remind you all of the time how you just aren’t good enough.

High levels of intimacy are the most fulfilling aspects of any marriage. Unfortunately, intimacy is also one of the first things that fades away for many couples. What replaces intimacy are feelings of sadness, resentment and loneliness.

Intimacy is the actualized aliveness of love in the relationship. It demonstrates deep caring. Without it partners will feel empty and neglected.

Marriage vows are as unique as the two people marrying. But how often does a couple vow to speak openly and authentically to each other, alongside the “in sickness and in health” exchange? Learning to speak openly is the most important vow of all. It underscores everything. So why is it neglected? Maybe because partners aren’t sure how to kick off intentional conversation, or even worse, don’t see the value in the vow.

Enter strategies of creative strength training. How can exercising your creative selves foster a stronger marriage partnership?