“In other lives, dull though they might be, there was always the possibility something might happen. One chance event sometimes brought infinite turns of fortune, even a change of scene. But not for her. The future was a pitch-black corridor, with a closed door at the end.” — Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert
Hopefully, this doesn’t sound familiar.
Variety in a marriage is key, and one partner’s silence about something new they would like to try can drive a wedge in a marriage that is hard to dissolve. Instead, keep your partner on their toes by letting them know your wishes, hopes and passions.
Chances are your spouse might want the same things but may be too afraid to the open lines of communication.
Here are five ways to get your partner to try new things, in the bedroom or out.
1. Make a Deal
You both have things you want to try, and a deal is a great way to make everyone happy, as long as the terms are clear and negotiations are minimal. For instance, if you want to eat at a new restaurant, and your partner wants to take up couple’s kickboxing, you might want to negotiate.
2. Make It Impossible To Say No
Hopefully, you know your spouse better than anyone else. In that case, you ought to understand how to wage a successful campaign to get what you want. You don’t necessarily have to learn Spanish for the same reasons: you may want to visit Madrid, but maybe your spouse wants to watch soccer without subtitles.
3. Get All The Information
Be ready for a million questions designed to make you stumble in your single-minded pursuit of your dreams. Get all the information beforehand so that you can stump them into grudging acceptance that you know what you are talking about.
4. Start Small
If you want to get your partner running laps every day, for instance, don’t drag them out to the track at dawn and say: “This is the rest of our life, now.” Get them gradually into it. Buy them some new tennis shoes, and tell them how good they look in jogging shorts.
5. Surprise Them
As the old saying goes, it is easier to apologize than to ask permission. Surprising your spouse with tickets to the opera or with the key to a hotel room, a bottle of champagne and some Intimate Options lubricant Mousse could be just the ticket to experience a whole new world of sexy exploration. Don’t forget the candles and chocolates.
Dr. Machelle Seibel is a Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Massachusetts, and former Editor in Chief of Sexuality, Reproduction and Menopause, a journal of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.
Steve Cooper is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of Hitched. You can follow him on Twitter at @hitchedmedia.
