A good friend once shared the idea that people enter your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. A “season relationship” can happen with a new friend you meet on vacation. You have a wonderful time together, but once you both head back home the relationship is over. A “reason relationship” occurs with an individual who enters your life to teach you something, through either a good or a not-so-good experience. “Lifetime relationships” last a lifetime, plain and simple.
Divorce statistics notwithstanding, marriage is still intended to be a lifetime relationship. Unless you categorize your marriage as a lifetime relationship, you risk missing out on something that could provide growth and love and serve both you and your spouse for many years to come. To make your marriage the lifetime relationship it’s meant to be, you must constantly seek to grow and improve it. Unless you interject new beliefs, habits and practices into your marriage, it can become old, boring or stagnant. Here are three ideas for bringing new life to your lifetime relationship.
Think Back
Think back to all those wonderful, romantic things you used to do for your spouse while dating. I believe that if everyone continued to do those things, we wouldn’t have the divorce rate in this country that we do. I find it very interesting that when people have an affair, they start doing all those romantic, wonderful things with the “new” person in their life. Just imagine what would happen if they went home and did those things with their spouse instead.
Write a Gratitude Letter
What are you grateful for in your life? What events do you want to remember? There’s something quite profound and empowering about making a list or writing a story about what’s right in your life. When you stop to think about the good things in life, you’ll feel nicer and be kinder, which will make you a better spouse.
Your gratitude letter can begin with a mention of the most obvious things you’re grateful for, such as family and friends. You could write about the gifts of your heart, mind and soul; your worldly possessions; and your personal discoveries, benchmarks and growth. You may even want to express gratitude for a painful experience that helped you be a better person or appreciate your family more. Write your gratitude letter and acknowledge the experience and lessons you’ve been given in life.
It’s Never Too Late
Journaling and letter writing are powerful ways to express thoughts, beliefs and intentions of the heart. I believe it was author and speaker Marianne Williamson who taught me that it only takes one person to make the shift in a relationship that has gotten off track. Even if the other person decides not to participate, the work that you do to make your apologies, forgive that person, forgive yourself and express your love and gratitude can be all that is required to proclaim, “That relationship is healed. I can now move forward with peace, love and resolve.”
Winn Claybaugh
Winn Claybaugh is the author of Be Nice (Or Else!) and the co-owner of hair care giant Paul Mitchell’s school division. Winn has helped thousands of businesses build their brands and create successful working cultures, including Southwest Airlines, Fuddruckers, Entertainment Tonight, Mattel, and others. Visit www.BeNiceOrElse.com to sign up for his free monthly "Be Nice (Or Else!)" newsletter.
