The following is an excerpt from “An Exceptional Romance”
Have you ever heard of the one-degree principle? It refers to reaching a destination. For example, for every degree you fly off course, you will miss your desired destination by ninety-two feet for every mile flown. So if you were flying from JFK to LAX and were off by one degree, you would be over fifty miles off course.
Wanting a good marriage is not enough. Small course adjustments can significantly impact your romance through the years, but you have to determine your direction. Your ultimate trajectory depends on it. So where are you heading right now?
It was just a few years into our marriage when we sat down with some dear friends on a vacation and discussed the topic of blending two unique lives into one. Out of all the words our friends could have used to describe this process, they chose hard. We were stunned.
These friends had been married for less than a year. It’s hard … already? we thought. We had some deep conversations about the perceived struggles of marriage. After all, we too were at the starting gate, and culture paints a pretty dismal outlook of marriage through marketing, movies, and sitcoms. It launched us into a decade of seeking answers and strategies for creating the best marriage possible.
That vacation left us with a determined purpose to help others (as well as ourselves) in this journey. In just a few short years, we passionately entered into a ministry of mentoring couples around their desired growth areas and relational dreams. We were zealous in proclaiming the how-tos and do-nots in order to equip young hearts for the foreverness of marriage.
But here is the thing—it doesn’t have to be hard. In those early years (and even today), many friends and strangers said that the honeymoon phase would eventually end, and the rose-colored glasses would fade. People said that our feet weren’t on the ground and that we were blinded by love. And another common phrase: “Just wait; it’ll hit you.”
How anyone can be that negative and pessimistic about the institution and covenant of marriage is completely beyond us. We believe it can be fireworks, connection, joy, and one of the few constants in this variable world.
The daily choices you make are crucial to maintaining a vigorous relationship throughout the course of your life together. The ideas presented in this book are preventatives. The outcome is fun and exhilarating and will be supported and sustained by healthy habits. We want the intricacies of your relationship to be automatic, easy, and incredibly life-giving.
When you sign up for married life, you don’t go into it with a negative mind-set. You are over the moon in love. You expect to beat the odds; you are the exception to the norm. The chemistry and nuances of your relationship are one of a kind. Plus, you have God on your side, and he created all of these relationships. There is nothing left to do but make the leap together.
Kate & Steve Dahlin
Kate and Steve Dahlin have been married for more than 12 years and are passionate about helping Millennial and Gen Z couples thrive by cultivating an exceptional lifestyle. The Dahlins have led multiple married small groups, have been premarital mentors through North Point Ministries for more than nine years and recently spoke about the keys to a high-performance marriage on the Married People podcast. Kate is a lifestyle and health coach, full-time home manager and blogger. Steve is in sales and has spent the last 12 years working for some of the largest technology companies in the industry. They have two children and a golden retriever, and they love to spend their weekends working in the yard and sipping wine at their home in the greater Atlanta area. To learn more, please visit www.anexceptionalromance.com.
