Family

You’ve just walked in the door after a long day at work. The kitchen is a mess and the kids are arguing over who is responsible. As you set your briefcase on the counter, a flying apple misses your head—by inches. Then poof! The kids disappear—without so much as a hello (or goodbye!)—and you are left with a dirty, cluttered kitchen. Muttering under your breath, you are now cleaning up everyone’s mess feeling more like a doormat than a parent.

What is wrong with these children? Where do they get the idea they can throw things? Why don’t they have the decency to at least say hello when you walk in the door?

As a mom, when was the last time you really did something for yourself? Odds are, you probably don’t remember. Or if you do remember, it was quite a long time ago. The problem with motherhood is that we have a tendency to put our children’s, husbands, and everyone else’s needs before our own. It often feels like that’s what we were meant to do.

Moms have the natural ability to nurture everyone around them, but the problem with motherhood is that we spend so much time nurturing everyone else that we forget to take care of ourselves. A mom simply has to take care of herself and continue to grow in her own life, or it’s only a matter of time before she finds herself unable to help her children grow.

My Guess Who? moment with my husband was a disaster. In fact, the whole ordeal broke us up for a while.

Mike flew me in from California to the foreign land of Westport, Connecticut, home of Michael Bolton, the late Paul Newman, and Martha Stewart (before she got run out of the place). I walked off the plane, covered head to toe with cold-deflecting clothes, but winters on the East Coast was like nothing I had ever experienced. The only way to describe it is, the cold went all the way through my hat, jacket, and sweater to my bones. But there Mike was, his green eyes twinkling and brilliant smile so bright, I was warm in an instant. The hour-long ride from JFK to Westport had my stomach in knots and needing to get to the nearest gas station bathroom.

Nearly 30% of children in the United States live in blended families. If you are an other mother of teenagers, also known as a stepmother, your job as a parent can feel exhausting and hopeless. Your teenager may compare you to their biological mother, create conflict between you and their father, and say, "You’re not my real mom, you can’t tell me what to do!" Step-parenting a teenager is like asking you to swim laps without arms or put out a fire with just a spoonful of water. Whether your teenager’s biological mother is gracious or completely awful, your spouse is supportive or distant, and your teen is a nightmare or an embarrassment, there is hope!

When you’re both at work all day, coming home to a pack of unruly kids is probably the last thing you want to do. Your problem isn’t going to get better until you make some changes, so we have 10 tips you can get started on today—no matter what your child’s age—that’ll help make your family time happier and your home the comfortable place you want it to be.