Career

Walk into almost any office and you'll see dress code violations—a woman wearing sheer black hose (too sexy), or a man sporting Docker khakis and a T-shirt (slacker) when everyone else is wearing a tie. Our office attire speaks volumes about us. We want to look professional, well put together, and confident. Can clothes do this for us? Yes! But they can send unwanted messages too.

Here are some examples of dressing styles and the messages they send.

Is your company in a bad mood? The signs aren’t always overt. People aren’t biting each other’s heads off or glaring sullenly across the conference table. (That’s home, not work!) Instead, it feels like everyone is just… coasting. Rather than digging for solutions, they make a cursory effort and then lay the problem at your feet. They’re not cage-rattlers and idea-sharers; they’re "yes men" and passive compliers. If you could be the proverbial fly on the wall (instead of the boss in the hall), you suspect you’d hear far more bitching and blaming than the faked enthusiasm you usually hear.

It seems our society has turned dodging responsibility into an art form. From celebrities who insist that a brush with the law was all a big misunderstanding to political figures who use spin and double-speak to blame everything on the other side, no one wants to admit it when they mess up. If you’re a business leader, the temptation to use this strategy is huge. After all, your customers are paying you to get it right, so the last thing you want is for them to know that you’ve made a mistake, right?

It’s official: e-mail, texting, and social media are no longer just helpful supplemental business tools. They’ve taken over the whole game. Yes, technology has made many aspects of modern living more convenient and connected, but the pendulum has swung too far. Now, people are reluctant to do something as simple as picking up the phone, preferring to shoot off an e-mail instead. And face-to-face meetings—well, they’re almost unheard of.

This technology takeover is not without consequence. Misunderstandings abound. Relationships stagnate.

You care deeply about your clients, employees and co-workers. Of course you do. But if you’re like most people in the workplace (be they leaders, front line workers, or someone in the vast middle ground), you may occasionally do (or not do) things that send the wrong signal. And that signal is, "I don’t care."

This accidental carelessness is not surprising.

We’re all so busy these days. In fact, we’re overwhelmed—and when we’re trying to survive, sometimes even the most well-meaning among us don’t realize how we’re coming across.

Even though plenty has changed since the days we, the parents, were entering the job market, the important things haven’t. The fundamentals of hard work, integrity, respect, perseverance, and so forth still lead to success—so when advising your child, feel free to draw on your own experiences.

Make a point to have a conversation about the lessons you think he or she most needs to take to heart—perhaps over a celebratory dinner or while packing up their dorm room. Most of all, help your child to understand that when you live and work by a code that’s shaped by values, integrity, dedication, and a true team spirit, you will set yourself apart from the other rookies in a way that gets you hired, recognized, and promoted.

You’ve fretted about your child’s future from kindergarten on. You’ve zoom-focused on homework and grades, worried that he or she wouldn’t have the study skills and discipline to make it once they got out from under your thumb, and (of course!) spent sleepless nights worrying they weren't making the most of their college education. Now that they're finally ready to graduate, the last thing you want is for your child to stall at the real-world starting line after all the hard work they—and you!—have put in.