Career

On-the-job clashes took the romance out of our relationship until talk of divorce scared us into separating business from pleasure. Years ago, my husband, Lee and I decided to open our own hair-styling salon. This would allow us more time together and permit me some space to write in my spare time.

"It won’t work," warned naysayers. We laughed and reassured them, "No way, Jose`. Don’t rain on our parade!"

Yet, we’d only begun to set up the salon when we began to tussle over details, like where to hang mirrors and pricey versus non-pricey furniture for the waiting area. Then, the biggie—who’s the boss? Lee’s bossiness didn’t set well with the new partner, me!

In the late 1990’s, when hair stylist Mo Murphy met music industry executive Chris Strouth backstage at Edgefest, a live music festival in Somerset, Wisconsin she heard the screech of electric guitars and amplifier feedback—not wedding bells. Much to the surprise of both of them, not only would they one day get married, but eight years after saying "I do," they would become business partners in their own small business enterprise. The couple founded Miyagi: a Dojo for Beauty (http://dojoforbeauty.com), an Aveda concept salon in northeast Minneapolis, Minnesota.

"Somehow we’ve managed to open a business in the worst economy since Hoover," Strouth laughed, about Miyagi’s August 2008 opening. "We stress about money more than we ever did, but then again who’s not stressing? We’re learning to look at things differently than we once did."

We all complain about our job: how tired we are, how bored, how busy, how unfair our boss is, how competitive the environment, yet at the same time we know that we are really lucky to have work and get a pay check. Someone you know is probably out of work at this very moment whether it is a neighbor, friend or family member—maybe it is your spouse. You tiptoe around the laid-off person not knowing how to interact, what to say or not say. Losing a job is a great stressor. A job loss is like a death, not a physical death of course, but the death of an identity.

Running a successful business is tough. Maintaining a successful marriage can also be tough. When you combine the two and run a business with your spouse, it can be even more challenging. Throw in a kid or two, add additional outside family members and you've got a situation that can be total nirvana or a complete mess.

Now let’s be honest, there are many issues here we could discuss. There are the wonderful things that work, the things that definitely don’t work and the things that can be done to make it work if it isn’t.

My spouse has an 'office spouse.' I know it’s nothing, but it really gets to me. He comes home and tells me about work things and they all involve her. He knows I’m not too fond of it, but insists that I have nothing to worry about. Am I just being jealous or should I say enough is enough?

Many years ago, a noted relationship expert said there should be a sign in front of workplaces stating, "Caution: Men and Women Working Together." It was Shirley Glass’ contention that a leading cause of extramarital affairs was due to men and women spending so many hours together interacting at work.

When you’re, say, 25 and newly married, retirement planning typically isn’t a top priority. But, perhaps it should be. Sure, getting a career established is important, as are discussions about buying a house, starting a family or just having fun—after all, you’re only young once. Yet, by taking a few simple steps now