Money Advice

It’s easier to commit to a New Year’s resolution if you have company—and who better to team up with than your spouse? Like many couples, you may resolve to work together to improve your financial wellness. Just as you’ll have better luck shedding a few pounds if you have support eliminating sugar from your diet, adopting healthier financial habits can be easier if you both commit to the goal.

Getting your financial house in order generally involves these three steps: save more, pay off your debt and plan for the future. The trouble is, many people simply articulate these goals. While listing these resolutions is terrific, it’s just a first step. You need a plan to make each happen. So, how can you become more proactive to ensure your success?

Financial pressures are without doubt one of the biggest causes of conflict in a marriage. Many couples cite money problems as the single biggest cause of arguments, conflict and unhappiness in their relationship. Learning to separate out your financial challenges from your relationship is one of the best things you can do for your marriage. Here are some ways to do that.

First, assume joint responsibility for your financial situation. Many times one person can feel resentful towards the other if they feel they are bearing most (if not all) of the financial burden. Perhaps one feels they are trying to control the finances while the other doesn't want to know about it or continues to spend freely.

When we're in love, we typically want to do and share everything with our partner. But is it a smart decision to make? In my work with couples over the years, I've seen how financial conflict can destroy even the best marriages. There are better times than others to make this leap with your partner.

Once you have an idea that your relationship is ready to handle "money talk," that's the time to begin talking about finances. You married this person for a reason—because you were compatible. Part of being compatible is having similar financial philosophies and goals. Even if you have differences, just knowing and understanding your spouse's financial attitudes and behaviors is essential if you want to have an honest, open relationship.

How many times has a simple conversation with your partner about something fun, like a vacation or buying a new piece of furniture been ruined by an argument about money that becomes much larger than the topic you are discussing?

Money decisions are usually filled with emotions because our underlying motivations can be ignored when we make decisions. In other words, when someone says you spend too much, they might be ignoring the fact you may have a genuine desire to do something to validate your hard work.

Are the two of you really ready to buy your first home?

I often help newly-married couples negotiate the purchase of their first home. They are always enthusiastic after driving through preferred neighborhoods and singling out those homes they identify as fitting into their price range. They have saved a down payment, they say, and are ready to not only look, but present offers. It is then that I offer them the following advice—a checklist—of eight practical steps to take before moving forward:

The economic environment we have endured over recent years has left many people in a financial mess—these financial hardships can put a strain on a couple’s relationship when either or both of the partners are feeling the stress. As they say, money isn’t everything, but it is a necessity in life and an aspect that every couple has to deal with regularly.

While mounting financial pressures can seem overwhelming, by working together, couples can effectively manage their money no matter the economic situation they are in.

Things happen! That expression has been around for years and it’s very true. Without going into what happens to cause many people unexpected financial setbacks, my experience often points to medical bills, divorce, job loss and unfortunately, substance and gambling addictions. However, it might just be that people are living longer, everything is far more expensive, and social security just won’t cover most people’s bills.