Some question the life we lead. I won’t lie—even I do too at times. The longest we have gone without seeing each other is 26 days. He came back probably five pounds heavier, a little scruff to his face (kind of Matthew McConaughey-ish)—I touched his cheek and joked that I forgot what he looked like.
My husband and I have been married for a little more than three years and for that whole time we have essentially been in a long distance marriage. Ben, my husband, is an engineer and a true gem. He works in the oil industry and goes out in the Gulf of Mexico the majority of the month while I live and work in Houston. We are complete opposites: I am chatty, directionally challenged and I enjoy all things in the world of communications and liberal arts, hence why I work in the public relations industry. Ben on the other hand encompasses all the personality traits of a stereotypical engineer. He is quite the handyman, rebuilding a 1973, 240z from pretty much scratch. He is often passive at times, and will try to pose a simple solution to any question I direct his way. Although we are opposites, we complement each perfectly.
I think I fell in love with him when I heard him say in the early stages of our relationship, “My kids are going to have the best tree house ever.” He is like MacGyver, I tell you. He can make, fix and solve anything. He can’t spell to save his life, but I’ve seen him transform rusty metal into something shiny again and even reupholster a chair.
I think somewhere in your vows it says something about “love and cherish, every day of your life” or something to that effect. Every day of your life doesn’t have to mean that you are physically together every day of your life. Family, friends, acquaintances—many have posed the question to me: “How do you do it, Laureen? I feel sorry for you.” Or their facial expressions say the latter.
I brush it off most of the time, but at times I have internally rolled my eyes at others reactions. Just because you do not see someone every day of your life doesn’t make them any less of your life. I truly believe what we have going on has, if anything, really strengthened our communications skills as a couple. We have a stellar phone relationship. We talk at least three times per day, and it just works for us.
We are a young, career-driven couple, and if this is what we have to do now so we don’t have to do this later when we have children, I’m ok with that. We know this is not a permanent thing, so we continue to save and build a nest egg. When my husband decides to take an office job, which will probably be in the next few months, we can live with some cushion for later in life.
My husband and I cherish the time we do have together and we are still very happy people. When he comes home, we have quality time together, but still carry the normal routine. We go to the movies, enjoy margaritas and talk about where we would like to take our next vacation. Usually coming home is a bit of a detox for Ben, since I try to regulate his food intake and force colorful fruits and vegetables into his diet; he forces me to go to bed at “Old-Man-Ben-time” and puts me on a better sleeping schedule. I am really ok that for only one-third of the month I share the bed with the two men in my life, Ben and Guy Harvey, my cat.
Married since August of 2005, Laureen and Ben reside in Houston, Texas where they enjoy eating Mexican food and discuss where their next scuba adventures will take place.
Steve Cooper is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of Hitched. You can follow him on Twitter at @hitchedmedia.
