I don’t have children, but I’m sure it’s the same thrill you’d get watching your tender seeds tear through gift-wrap. They lovingly gaze at their latest obsession; you know, the one you handed over the plastic for despite the steep price and hype surrounding it and surreptitiously snuck into your home. Now, you smile a satisfied smile knowing how happy your thoughtful gift has made someone. That’s exactly how I felt when my husband opened his very last Christmas gift this year. But his new joy became a thief in the night, robbing me of some of my own happiness.
You, Playstation 3, yeah I’m talking to you! You think you’re all dark, sleek, thin, tech-savvy and oh so cool? Well, yeah, I guess you are. But still, you came into Tony’s world and rocked it, and left me a little shaken too. You’re like the new hot young secretary in the husband’s office, or the sultry single neighbor who always needs his help with a handyman chore. You, my new foe, are the newest mistress in my husband’s life. I might taunt you with an indignant “You’re just the latest flavor of the month,” while I swirl and then gulp my dirty martini, but truth is we’re at the end of February and Tony’s still licking it up. I’m feeling a little like his PS2, old and unexciting. Hey, at least I didn’t get sold to a gamer store like his loyal PS2 did the day after Christmas.
I joke with Tony about his mistresses; in truth there are none in the literal sense. Some of his mistresses to date have been PS2 in its heyday, along with specific games like “Madden” and “Call of Duty,” some PC flight simulator, his motorcycle and the PSP. These culprits introduced themselves to me as innocent new friends to entertain Tony when I wasn’t around, and quickly became BFF—and then some. One by one, they began usurping all of his time and attention even when I was around. Conversations became mostly one-sided with no eye contact. If my husband responded, it was monosyllabic grunts, and they’d be punctuated with a short outburst of disappointment caused by a lack of complete concentration. I was interrupting his “love-making” with the respective mistress, “couldn’t you just wait until dinner to talk?”
Okay, maybe I’m being extreme. But ladies, you know how it is in the beginning of courtship? You are his queen and there is nothing more he wants to do but lavish you with time and compliments. We all get comfortable after awhile, so when you see him acting all giddy and anxious to start spending time with something new, it feels a little like someone else has caught his eye and you’re no longer the twinkle.
One day I had to put my foot down. I would never ask him to get rid of his PS3, it’s not without it’s good attributes and I’ve even played it a little. But I resented feeling like I was now persona non grata, and this little hussy is stealing my thunder. Instead of threatening to throw it out the window, I tried to convey how meaningful the time we spent together was. Having him there but not really “there” wasn’t the same, especially when I wanted to share all the crazy things that went on in my day.
There was plenty of time when my hula dancing kept me late into the night and I figured he could be with his latest mistress then. But during the busy workweek we should cherish the nights that we are able to spend some quality time. Tony understood immediately because he always hated me tapping away on the laptop when we were supposed to hanging out.
I’m sure it was hard for him at first. The yearning and subsequent internal struggle for him to put the wireless controller down and leave “BadAss79” or “SuperGamr1” to their own online battles probably broke a tiny piece of his heart. But he did it for me, and that showed that despite his “mistresses,” I was still the lady of the house and how I felt mattered. We’re spending that quality time together and it’s just like old times. We do compromise when he needs some alone time with his other lady and I know that I’ll still get him in the end. Plus, he’s not without competition himself. When I gave him the PS3 for Christmas, he gave me a Sidekick. We’ll fight our battles one day at a time.
Married since April 2006, April and Tony brave the craziness of So Cal living and have loads of fascinating tales to regale.
Steve Cooper is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of Hitched. You can follow him on Twitter at @hitchedmedia.
