Cookie.
Twinkie.
Muffin.
This may sound like a list of delicious snack foods, but it’s actually a list of favorite nicknames for another kind of treat: a woman’s vagina.
See? You probably just cringed (or snickered) a little at the word ‘vagina’, which is exactly why couples adopt nicknames for their partner’s nether regions.
“The main reason couples assign pet names is because there really are no good words. We don’t want to say penis or vagina; that’s pretty clinical and not very romantic. And when we go to the other side of the spectrum, which is kind of our only choice, then we start getting into porn star mode,” says psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Lori Buckley, Psy.D.
Porn star language includes all of the words we’ve grown up to view as “dirty” or bad, which can sometimes be offending or uncomfortable for people—especially when they’re describing someone they love.
“When you think about the words we use for sex, they are also the same words we use for a lot of negative stuff,” explains Dr. Buckley. “You don’t necessarily want to say cock or cunt, because that doesn’t sound very romantic. So we don’t really have any great choices. Coming up with pet names serves two purposes: it makes it comfortable for both people, and it’s bonding.”
So what are some of these bonding terms of endearment? Here’s a list of some common—and not so common—nicknames couples use. See where you fall on the list.
WOMEN
Va-jay-jay
Lady Business
Lady Parts
Hoo-Ha
Chotch
Cootchie
Box
Princess
Miss Kitty
Na-Na
Taco Belle
MEN
Schlong
Unit
Pokey
Hoodilly
Mr. P
Junk
Peen
Wang
Pe-nay-nay
“D”
Silver Surfer
Steve Cooper is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of Hitched. You can follow him on Twitter at @hitchedmedia.
