Tag: advice

None of us like to think about the harsh reality that someone who once loved us is now out to hurt and even punish us, but it’s true. Bitter, disgruntled and dismissed ex’s seek vengeance in any number of ways, including acts of violence, bullying, intimidation, harassment, passive aggressive behavior, silent indifference and using the children as pawns. Let’s look at four of the most common ways ex’s hurt and punish their former partners, why they do it and some positive alternatives to this kind of destructive behavior.

My husband and I just celebrated our 13-year wedding anniversary. We met when I was 19 and were married three years later. We have five children and still thoroughly enjoy each other’s company (most days), so I feel fairly confident that I have some good advice to offer.

However, as I sat here analyzing the last 13 years and trying to figure out how we’ve made it this far, it really came down to one thing. Once you’re married it’s time for an US vs. Them mentality. The US is always you and your partner but the “them” changes moment by moment.

Bullying doesn’t hurt you just when you’re a kid. In fact, the impact of childhood bullying can haunt you long past school years and well into adulthood. Recent research shows that bullying can cause social anxiety, shame, anger, and low self-esteem in adults, and as a result, individuals who were once bullied may continue making "safe" or "defensive" choices instead of choosing bolder, more beneficial options.

As we struggle to emerge from these long months of pandemic, it can be challenging to find the strength to keep going. It’s not just the constantly shifting COVID protocols, there’s our work situations; our finances; and our living conditions, which for many of us keep changing and morphing—sometimes into non-existence. And there are the continual stresses of our family life, as kids do (or don’t) make it to school; whether online or in person; and it’s hard to have any kind of stable routine, whether you have five children, none, or are single.

Even though plenty has changed since the days we, the parents, were entering the job market, the important things haven’t. The fundamentals of hard work, integrity, respect, perseverance, and so forth still lead to success—so when advising your child, feel free to draw on your own experiences.

Make a point to have a conversation about the lessons you think he or she most needs to take to heart—perhaps over a celebratory dinner or while packing up their dorm room. Most of all, help your child to understand that when you live and work by a code that’s shaped by values, integrity, dedication, and a true team spirit, you will set yourself apart from the other rookies in a way that gets you hired, recognized, and promoted.

You’ve fretted about your child’s future from kindergarten on. You’ve zoom-focused on homework and grades, worried that he or she wouldn’t have the study skills and discipline to make it once they got out from under your thumb, and (of course!) spent sleepless nights worrying they weren't making the most of their college education. Now that they're finally ready to graduate, the last thing you want is for your child to stall at the real-world starting line after all the hard work they—and you!—have put in.

Every day you are bombarded by well-intentioned, "good" advice ranging from how to manage stress and cultivate a loving marriage to diet and exercise. Sorting it all out can be difficult, especially when it’s conflicting: Absence makes the heart grow fonder versus out of sight, out of mind. Some of this good advice is a mysterious secret which will be revealed if you buy the book and some of it comes in the form of meditation and visualization tapes which speak to you personally—you and millions of others listeners. And this is precisely the problem: One size does not fit all.