Tag: alone time

You’re supposed to feel weepy, forsaken and bereft. And maybe you do. Sometimes. Some days.

However, many parents are realizing that they also feel exhilarated, freer and, yes, sexier, when their kids grow up, leave home and go out on their own. It might be an empty nest, but there’s no "syndrome." At least, not in the negative sense. There’s no malady about it. It’s more like a club whose members are secretly celebrating having more quality time alone with their friends and with their spouse.

Magazine articles and TV doctors still tend to focus on "coping" with this midlife transition, and the identity crisis they say could lead to depression, alcoholism and divorce. But research reveals an empty nest can actually reduce stress and family conflicts.

Stress is an inevitable part of life. Finding ways to manage and reduce relationship stress in your life is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your relationship.

Stress in a relationship can cause a type of feedback loop. If I’m stressed, it makes Katie, my wife, stressed. If Katie is getting stressed, then it makes me even more stressed. And further down the hole we go.

Although your marriage can be a source of stress in your life, which is totally normal, it is also the best tool you have to reduce stress.

Sometimes, we all need the occasional night to ourselves. Some of you may be thinking, "A night to myself, what is that?"

We often have those nights where we are home zoning out watching TV, eating and feeling bored. We don’t need more of those nights. This is not the kind of night I am referring to.

Some of you may say, "A night to myself, that isn’t going to be fun. If I go out alone people will think I am weird or will assume I am unlovable and lonely."

The holidays are hard enough with your family, let alone adding a spouse and their family to the mix. What was once a time you only needed to navigate your family drama, suddenly requires in-laws, double the annoying personal questions and much more gift shopping (ugh). Here are a few tips to help navigate split-holidays with your significant other.

1. Manage expectations. Go into your respective celebrations with a plan and stick to it. If you are dividing your holidays between families, get ready for the guilt trips.