Tag: appreciation

We have all heard this before "I just wish it was easier." A friend wishing their partner could just see their point of view more often, that their spouse didn’t travel so much, or that they just had a little more money to afford that house they wanted.

The truth is even in some of the most perfect relationships we could still say, "I wish it was a little easier" because sharing your life and your world with another person is never a piece of cake.

But the question is how do you know if you’re working hard enough? Or is it that you’re working too hard and it’s just not worth it anymore? How do you know if you and your partner are both working equally towards a common goal?

“You don’t know what you’ve got 'til it’s gone…" ~ Joni Mitchell

The shock has not lifted for me. Each day I continue to feel dazed and overwhelmed with grief by this world that is emerging. And yet, as I have written before, the more deeply I accompany my grief, the more resounding are my feelings of gratitude. When we allow ourselves to befriend loss and know it for the lifelong companion it is, you would have to be a fool to not recognize how blessed you are—not only for all the many ways life is working right in this moment, but even more so; for all the people that you love and have ever loved.

Even the best relationships don’t stay in the honeymoon phase forever. It’s normal to grow more comfortable with each other and stop putting in the same kind of effort we did at the beginning. It can actually be a good sign that the relationship has grown past the superficial makeup and flowers to something more meaningful. However, it is important you don’t get so comfortable with each other that it actually kills the spark in your relationship. A good relationship needs constant effort from both partners to maintain happiness.

As we struggle to emerge from these long months of pandemic, it can be challenging to find the strength to keep going. It’s not just the constantly shifting COVID protocols, there’s our work situations; our finances; and our living conditions, which for many of us keep changing and morphing—sometimes into non-existence. And there are the continual stresses of our family life, as kids do (or don’t) make it to school; whether online or in person; and it’s hard to have any kind of stable routine, whether you have five children, none, or are single.

The wedding bells rang, the guests tore up the dance floor and you and your partner rode off into the sunset. Or perhaps the pandemic forced you to put off your wedding, and you and your partner are just now tying the knot. What next?

We use the phrase "the honeymoon is over" to refer to that time when the bliss of being newly married wears off and the real work of building a life together kicks in. Marriage is a partnership, and partnerships can be challenging. No longer are you responsible for only your own decisions. Now you must work together and come to a common understanding on everything: from sex to finances to raising children. When disagreements and misunderstandings arise, how can we move forward together?

Have you ever heard someone comment that thoughtfulness seems to be going the way of the dinosaur? Perhaps you’ve had the same thought yourself from time to time. We’ve all experienced an every-man-for-himself attitude at work, given gifts that weren’t acknowledged, walked down streets that seemed full of bad attitudes.

I think that as a society, we might be becoming less considerate to others than we were in the past. However, let me be clear: The problem isn’t that we don’t care or that we’re trying to be rude. We’re simply busier, more stressed, and more overwhelmed than ever before!

We’re all longing for happiness. We think we can achieve it by losing 10 pounds or kicking a bad habit or making more money, and that’s why we vow to do those things year after year after year.

However, I’ve found that true happiness isn’t about those kinds of achievements. Instead, it comes down to learning to love yourself, and there are some very specific things you can start to do now to move in that direction.