Tag: betrayal

Infidelity in a relationship is the ultimate betrayal. It’s the end of innocence and the beginning of a rough road to rebuild trust. You want to do everything possible to restore the bond that once was. You can go to couples counseling, talk about the affair, learn communication techniques, and understand the reason why the betrayal happened. Though these are good steps, they won’t rebuild trust by themselves.

When betrayal strikes, everything seems to change; nothing seems untouched by the effects that create havoc in the relationship and the couple’s world at large. Healing from betrayal is no easy task, for an act of betrayal can cause significant trauma. While the mind reels from fears, worries, and confusion, the heart and spirit are affected by painful emotions such as sadness, anger, resentment, and shame.

Physiologically, the effects of betrayal can manifest in somatic issues such as headaches, exhaustion, sleeplessness, and digestive issues.

When your world has been rocked by betrayal, it may feel as though nothing makes sense. Betrayal causes deep unrest because the very foundation of the relationship comes into serious question. Not only does the revelation of the betrayal cause deep anger and pain, but it can make the entire relationship feel unsafe and farce-like.

If you have been betrayed, you might find yourself thinking over and over again, "How could this have happened to me? It doesn’t make sense. If I could only understand…" As the thoughts and feelings spiral, it’s easy to get increasingly fearful and confused. It is vital to allow the various emotions to arise and to acknowledge that this very individual process cannot be hurried.

Betrayal. In truth, betrayal is one of our worst fears. Betrayals can occur within families, in the workplace, among friends, and in the most sacred space of marriage. All betrayals are difficult to come to terms with, yet betrayal within the confines of an intimate relationship can feel like the worst violation of all. Within a marriage, betrayal by a spouse can create an upwelling of emotions and leave serious devastation in its wake. If ignored, dismissed, or allowed to fester, the effects of betrayal can cause irreparable harm to a relationship. When faced openly and honestly—and with appropriate, wise support—betrayal can be understood, addressed, and ultimately healed.

Perhaps the most normal and least helpful response that we humans have to our emotional pain and fear is the habit of looking away or trying to suppress our feelings, especially when it comes to communicating with our spouse. Most of us are not trained or adept at dealing with the fear, rejection and pain that life and marriage often presents.

Emotional injuries from childhood that were never processed become silent filters that impact how we perceive and understand our entire lives. Our feelings can seem so large and overwhelming that they threaten to consume us whole.

An affair is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face. It is a powerful catalyst that can either end the relationship or take it to a greater level of intimacy. An extreme symptom of a relationship that has been in trouble for some time, affairs do not happen out of the blue. They challenge both partners to look at themselves and their relationship in a radically new way.

At first, reactions to an affair are hurt, anger and a profound sense of betrayal. These intense, negative feelings make us feel we must immediately end the relationship in order to preserve our dignity. But these feelings quickly turn to self-degrading thoughts, such as, "There must be something wrong with me or he/she wouldn’t have cheated," or