Tag: bully

The guiding rule of action should be to intervene too early rather than too late. ~ Dan Olweus, PhD, and founder of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program

Although bullying prevention efforts tend to focus on middle schools and high schools, bullying behavior begins at much younger ages.  According to researchers and developers of the Eyes on Bullying Program, Dr. Ronald G. Slaby and Dr. Kim Storey, it starts as early as 4-years old:

The topic of bullying continues. Parents have questions, and this parenting expert has the answers! How can I prevent my child from being a bully? What is the new breed of bullies? What are some tips and advice to help children who are being bullied? What are parenting tips to help their children if parents discover their child is being bullied? What are signs that your child may be being bullied? These are just but a few of the top questions that parents ask about with regards to bullying. Provided below are the top 7 questions asked and answered from this Family Therapist/Psychotherapist’s lens.

Dear Mr. Dad: The assistant principal at my daughter’s school called me in for a meeting today and told me that my 12-year-old is bullying several children in the school. I am in shock. This isn’t behavior I’ve ever seen in my child and I’m frankly having a hard time believing it. What should I do?

As tempting as it may be to dismiss this as some sort of mistake or overreaction on the part of the school principal, you need to take these complaints seriously.

Bullying doesn’t hurt you just when you’re a kid. In fact, the impact of childhood bullying can haunt you long past school years and well into adulthood. Recent research shows that bullying can cause social anxiety, shame, anger, and low self-esteem in adults, and as a result, individuals who were once bullied may continue making "safe" or "defensive" choices instead of choosing bolder, more beneficial options.

When we adults were kids, our mother’s would push us out of the house and say, "Go find a friend. Be home by dinner." And we did. It was in our neighborhood we met friends. Then we went to grade school. We went through a bevy of best friends, but the cool thing was every year there would be a new one. After school, we’d go over to their house to play. Or they would come over to ours.

In junior high, there would be best friends waiting in every grade. Same thing in high school, only there would be even more friends, a gang of friends.

By now, we know that online bullying can leave a trail of destruction in its wake. It occurs fast and can have long-lasting repercussions. But what about a bully who doesn’t just try to tear your child down by posting on their Facebook wall, but who also attacks them directly via their cell phone?

When friends have a falling out, former besties can turn into bullies. Many times those who feel the most comfortable with their victim, such as ex-friends or boyfriends and girlfriends, turn to text bullying to hurt, embarrass, and intimidate their target.

In case you haven’t heard, bullying is a hot topic in schools. It is likely you and your spouse have already sat through a bullying awareness assembly, seen your favorite celeb blog about standing up to bullies, or have read about another tragic teen suicide triggered in part by bullying. And if you haven’t been a victim of a bully, I’d be willing to bet you have witnessed some of this drama firsthand.

"So what?" you’re probably saying. "It’s not like anyone is actually pro-bully."