Tag: chores

Productive, confident adults… that is what we all hope our kids will develop into. There are very specific strategies that increase the odds of making those parental hopes a reality, so let’s dive in.

Communication with Confidence

Empowering children with the skills of effective listening, self-advocacy, standing up for themselves, and the ability to communicate their needs, are some of the critical communication tools they will need from the preschool classroom to the boardroom.

Arguments are a natural part of your relationship. It is just a part of our human nature to want to voice our opinion and be right. We feel that if there has to be an argument, then it better be about something important. Here are our six easy tips to avoiding arguments in your marriage.

1. Pick Your Fights
If you find yourself going down the slippery slope into an argument stop and ask yourself, "Is it really worth it?" Does it really matter if you buy the brown eggs or the white eggs? Will it change anything if the grass is mowed today or tomorrow?

You're busily vacuuming the house, determined to get your chores done this morning so you can enjoy a restful Sunday afternoon. You smile as you hear the sound of water running in the kitchen: your husband doing his end of the chores, kitchen clean-up. You work your way down the stairs into the front hall—and frown.

Why is the TV on? The kids are at soccer practice—one of them must have left it on this morning.

Who's the better spouse? Do you do all of the laundry, cooking and dishes? Do you regularly clean up your spouse's mess? Clearly you have the high ground here. Well, not so fast… what's your intent?

For example, your spouse habitually misses the laundry hamper and their dirty clothes litter the area around it. Irritated, you fuss and fume, but you toss their dirty clothes in and now the hamper is over-full and laundry must be done.

Doors slamming. Eyes rolling. Extended middle fingers. One-word discussions. Outrageous demands for more money, newer cars and less chores. In a survey, over 90 percent of parents who answered the question, "What are your top three parenting issues," all responded with either lack or respect or bad attitude.

But what’s strange is these same kids have friends whose parents they do respect! In 12 years of interviewing kids and parents, I know that most teens have what I call a Kool-Aid house, a home where kids of all stripes congregate, not because there are no rules, but indeed because there are strict rules about language, drugs, alcohol and behavior.

Does your toddler do chores around the house? I know, I know, you’re probably thinking what could a toddler possible do? They can hardly walk, talk or blow their own nose. How could they possibly be responsible for helping around the house? Chores from the youngest age are not only possible; they also have secret advantages.

Why So Young?
Starting chores at a really young age sets the expectation that everyone in the family should pitch in, at least to the best of each person’s ability. Harness the toddler’s "me do it" attitude—that is the hallmark of their budding independence. Starting chores at a young age allows you to capitalize on your toddler’s natural curiosity and their desire to learn, imitate and become masterful at a variety of skills from flushing the toilet to using a vacuum.

Being married means having someone you can trust and confide in—even if it’s someone else's darkest secret, right? Just because you're married doesn't mean you can throw away the filter between your brain and your mouth if it can do someone else a great deal of harm. Even in the most open, honest relationships there are some things you should consider keeping to yourself. Here are eight prime examples:

1. "Susie made me promise not to tell but…" The risk here is that your husband may forget the "don't tell anybody" part and mention it next time he sees Susie. Some people automatically exempt spouses from the "don't tell anybody" rule, figuring that it's bound to come up during pillow talk.