Tag: comfortable

In today’s culture, individuals are on high alert about abuse and harassment issues to the extent that the quest for meaningful relationships is affected by concerns about whether or not a person is trustworthy.

Nevertheless, the need for belonging, the desire for close relationships and the yearning for emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual intimacy beat away in human beings. Taking risks and making ourselves vulnerable to each other in forming connections is always fraught with a certain amount of anxiety; there is yet one more hurdle in the process of meeting and mating. Where, we ask, are we safe? How do we conduct ourselves in daily relationships?

The lively, bustling holiday season often brings up questions about "how to set healthy boundaries" with family and friends. These questions—and the answers to them—are so important, because solid personal boundaries can create the greatest of holidays. The tips and tools offered below will help you add a lasting glow to your holiday gatherings. As an added benefit, the concepts can also be used to improve interactions with family, friends, and co-workers throughout the year!

"One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

I recently shared the revelations about how what I have been forcing myself to forget has caught up to me. I decided I had to start remembering differently; so now, one week in to this new agreement with myself in my marriage, a few things have come clear. The thing is that the remedy is not really a revelation at all. In fact, it is so basic as to almost be an embarrassment to share just how much I had forgotten these basic truths that make a relationship a warm and comfortable place to reside. So although you may likely have heard this before, I realized just how often we need a reminder of how kindness transforms us and makes love possible.

You can address negative thoughts in a number of ways. Develop a consistent mental workout regime to improve your thinking by sleeping better, reducing irritability, and avoiding getting fatigued. A healthy diet will lead to a healthier mental state and improved quality of life. Diet changes and a consistent workout regime help you stay calmer when you’re communicating with your partner about a problem; it will also help you stay focused.

Being calm and mindful of your partner is easier said than done. It takes a conscious daily effort to incorporate healthy thinking that leads to positive change.

Even the best relationships don’t stay in the honeymoon phase forever. It’s normal to grow more comfortable with each other and stop putting in the same kind of effort we did at the beginning. It can actually be a good sign that the relationship has grown past the superficial makeup and flowers to something more meaningful. However, it is important you don’t get so comfortable with each other that it actually kills the spark in your relationship. A good relationship needs constant effort from both partners to maintain happiness.

Do you feel like you’re talking to a wall when your spouse is sitting right next to you? Do you find yourself not talking to your spouse because you know they’re not going to listen? Or, do you avoid certain topics for fear of a long, drawn-out dissertation from your spouse?

In my practice, I find this to be a common problem with couples. Tuning out your spouse can signal the beginning of trouble in the relationship and, if not addressed and dealt with, can eventually cause resentment and relationship breakdown.

If this is happening in your marriage, what’s going on and what can you do?

When was the last time you were at a gathering and someone said how relieved they were that their partner wanted less sex? These days you’re more likely to hear triumphant murmurs about someone having their vagina resuscitated, lubricated or lasered; or libidinous tales of 4-hour erections and stories about dating a 20-something tantra-teacher. In the face of this, who wants to admit they want less sex?