Tag: dad

When I was writing my first book, Father to Daughter, Life Lessons on Raising a Girl, there were a number of questions from dads expressing frustration with their wives about raising children. Over the years, I’ve had a chance to talk to hundreds and hundreds of dads and generally all have said the same thing. We’re either all married to the same woman, or women tend to think alike. So, as my gift to mothers everywhere, here’s a short explanation on being a dad.

As we walk past the card aisle of our local grocery store or scroll through our social media feeds, one thing becomes clear. It’s Father’s Day.

For some of us Father’s Day is a day for celebration—or at least an excuse to pull out the grill. But for others, it can be triggering and a day we’d like to forget about altogether. It can be a traumaversary.

After you get married, it’s easy to become so busy with the details of everyday life that you fail to consciously appreciate the people who helped get you to where you are today. If you’re like most people, your parents are foremost on that list. They taught you important lessons, provided for you, sacrificed for you, and made many unforgettable memories with you. So on Father’s Day, be sure to hit the "pause" button on your own family’s activities and pay special attention to the man who raised you.

What do parents fight more about than sex or money? Ask any parent: It’s how to raise their children. The dilemma is that while both parents love their children, while they may even have agreed beforehand how to raise their children, and while they may have read every parenting book ever published since 1950, nobody really knows what kind of parent they’re going to be until they are actually confronted with a smiling, gurgling baby; or a thirteen-year-old daughter who is demanding a $1,700 Burberry purse; or a fifteen-year-old son who, at 2 a.m., is standing intoxicated at the front door… with a police officer.

My wife is about to lose her father to cancer and we have relocated nearly 2,000 miles away from home so she can care for him till the end. She is becoming increasingly withdrawn and is trying to convince herself that she is not allowed to cry. Is this healthy in the grieving process and what actions can I take to help?

First, I’d like to commend you for being so supportive of your wife. The fact that you were willing to move so that she could care for her father, in his final months, is truly quite honorable of you. Also, you’re sensitivity in being concerned for how she is dealing with her father’s imminent passing is also quite admirable.

As Father’s Day approaches, many of us take time to contemplate just how powerful the paternal influence can be. For good or for ill, the lessons fathers teach impact their children for the rest of their lives. My own father was not only a great dad, but his unmatchable fortitude taught me how to overcome incredible odds and survive my own devastating illness.

Six years ago, I was diagnosed with the gene for Huntington’s disease, a hereditary illness that presents like a combination of Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and schizophrenia combined. John Mattinson, my father, who also has HD, has been diagnosed for 25 years, but also had symptoms for many years prior.

Dads love a good healthy meal—especially when it's coming from the barbecue. Here is a great 3-course menu that can be easily prepared for your dad’s (or husband's) special day!

Father’s Day Menu
* Hoisin-glazed Turkey Burgers
* Mango Salsa
* Kale Salad with Lemon Dressing

Hoisin-glazed Turkey Burgers
Ingredients:
1 lb. Ground turkey