Tag: Dr. Gottman

As Thanksgiving approaches, we are reminded of the importance of being thankful and grateful. However, in my clinical work as a psychologist and couples therapist, I hear examples every day of people who feel unappreciated and taken for granted by their spouse. Also, many people focus on what they do not have in their relationships versus what they do have. Why is it so hard for us to practice an attitude of gratitude and positivity—especially in our marriages? One reason may be that scientists have found that the brain has a negativity bias. We tend to have Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones, so we often dismiss the positive aspects of our marriages while vividly remembering the negative ones.