Tag: Dr. Karen Gail Lewis

Husbands! Are you trying to think of a New Year’s resolution? Maybe you’ll vow to lose weight or learn to ski, or maybe you will decide to spend more time with your children or to cut down on swearing? Although we often think of these things leading up to the ball dropping, it’s during the next day that we begin to think of other things we should have resolved.

Remember that at midnight on December 31 whatever resolution you make won’t be the last chance. There’s no rule breaking if you make a January resolution.

Editor’s note: due to the sensitivity of this subject, the couple’s names have been changed.

Ron and Barb have been married for 37 years, but the last 17 haven’t been easy. And, like many, they ride it solely because of their kids. Now that the kids are grown, Barb is deciding whether or not to stay in the marriage. Ron suggests counseling since he doesn’t want to lose her.

Dan travels a lot for work. He basically lives two separate lives—one in hotel rooms and one in his home. When he returns from a trip, he wants to feel appreciated; he wants to feel his wife and kids have missed him and are glad he is back. He wants to feel he still counts as head man in the family. Yet, that often is not what happens because his kids and wife have learned to live without him.

Dan’s story is not different from hundreds of thousands of men who must travel for work. From my experience as a marriage and family therapist, I hear men saying they want to stay connected and relevant with their family, but meshing their two lives is tough.