Tag: emotionally

Families living with the proverbial “black hole” child start coping in unhealthy ways. Everyone alters their normal behavior to avoid stress or anxiety, but these behavioral changes make things worse. It’s unintentional, but parents, siblings, friends, and extended family act out psychological roles, and the dynamics are harmful. This is the "dysfunctional family," and these are some common roles:

* Protector: the emotional caregiver who defends the child regardless.

Like many couples, Megan and Chris love each other, but they each admit to having communication problems. They recently had a second child and although they are overjoyed with their growing family, they are both handling the stress that accompanies it very differently.

Megan describes feeling overwhelmed by taking care of two small children and all of the household responsibilities. She finds that she is increasingly irritable, she cries more easily than before, and often feels like she is failing to meet the growing demands of her family. Megan is hurt and angry that Chris is more distant than he used to be, but every time she asks him what’s wrong, he insists everything is fine.

We’ve all seen people who walk around with a chip on their shoulders. People who never get over a wrong or a hurt. You know exactly who I’m talking about.

As a divorce attorney, I came into contact with many people who built great big walls around themselves to avoid getting hurt again. In fact, I myself discovered the art of building a fortress around my own heart. It contained a tiny little door that only my children, dog, and cat could squeeze through. Heaven help the man who tried to love me and knock those bricks down!

It's almost Valentine's Day. Is this a day you are looking forward to? Or dreading? In my experience, women are more triggered by Valentine's Day forgetfulness or inattention than men. So, in the spirit of averting a Valentine's Day disaster in your marriage, this tip is for the ladies!

Are you excited about showing your love and affection; and letting that special man in your life know how much he means to you? Do you find yourself worrying that your Honey might forget to plan ahead and not send you flowers, buy Godiva Chocolate or that tennis bracelet you've been hinting you really want to have?