Tag: erotic

"The only thing about masturbation to be ashamed of is doing it badly." ~ Sigmund Freud

It’s been over 20 years since May was named National Masturbation Month by a group of hip sex stores in response to the firing of then Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders for suggesting that masturbation would be a healthy addition to educational curriculum.

It was a reasonable suggestion given the cloak of shame and secrecy that masturbation has long carried, being derided and not considered "real sex."  And yet, solo sex is, without question, the most common of all sexual acts on the planet and arguably one of the safest.

"Be no longer tender. Cover me with frenzied kisses, – even as I would drench my body in the cruel torrents of the rain. Envelop me from throat to ankle in delirium intolerable…" ~ Blanche Shoemaker Wagstaff

  Accessing our deepest erotic selves can be as simple as tapping into the power of our own voice, exploring the range of sounds we create in the throes of intimacy and getting comfortable uttering dirty words. Silencing our sexual sounds is an odd and yet remarkably common holdover from our earliest sexual experiences that can shroud our lovemaking for decades.

Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the top reasons cited when a person leaves their marriage.  It is also one of this life’s most worthy challenges to take on—not only for the meaning and pleasure it can bring to our marriage, but also for the very real health benefits that a satisfying sex life bestows on our well-being.  I also believe that learning how to satisfy our sex drive and grow our comfort with our erotic selves is a window, which reveals our deepest humanity.

It is no surprise that a massive consumer market designed to offer  a quick fix for our sexual desires has ballooned into a billion dollar industry. 

Pleasure is the object, duty and the goal of all rational creatures. ~Voltaire

The experience of pleasure is how we say "yes" to life, and allowing ourselves the gratification of our senses is how we embody the joys of life—think mouthwatering flavors, the first scent of summer evenings, the soft cheeks of a sleeping baby, the refrain of a beloved tune. Our human capacity to sense the world brings life into sharp focus and lessens the distraction that often skews relationship in time and place. Opening to pleasure can be as simple as focusing our attention on what we are sensing in the present moment.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

We believe we are making it better by shielding ourselves from our own pain. This is a fool’s errand, for the pain we refuse to feel and acknowledge doesn’t dissipate from our lacking attention, but rather collects in our heart center with a weightiness we often cannot name or discern. So fearful are we of the potential of a broken heart that we inadvertently refuse to open our hearts at all.

From playing the villainous, manipulative Fish Mooney on Fox's Batman origins TV series "Gotham" to an empowering erotic club owner in "Magic Mike XXL," Jada Pinkett Smith is no stranger to taking on strong female characters on screen.

Smith, 43, told Reuters how she helped carve her role in "XXL"—one originally intended for actor Jamie Foxx—as the film's feminist force, and whether her husband, actor Will Smith, will see the film as it comes out in theaters this week.