Tag: extramarital

Let's get the big question out of the way—it's normal to develop a crush on someone other than your spouse. Unless you decide to live as a monk with absolutely no human contact it’s inevitable you will periodically meet someone who shares an attraction. You may think you’re the worst person in the world, but in truth you’re simply human. Chemistry is uncontrollable and a natural phenomenon.

As my deeply-in-love parents told me growing up, "We’re married, not dead." Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you suddenly stop noticing people. Crushes on bosses, co-workers, cute coffee shop attendees, waitresses, neighbors and anyone else you come into contact with on a regular basis is bound to happen…and that’s okay.

There is nothing like the headiness of a new romance to convince us that the passion and desire we feel are for keeps. We love how we feel in the early stages of our relationships: not being able to take our eyes off of our spouse, waiting longingly for that phone call or just finding deep contentment in each other’s presence. In a new marriage, sex will tend to carry an extra sizzle and can often be the high point which energizes the entire relationship.

These memories and experiences are great and important because they provide a reference point for our marriage journey. Because our memory of "falling in love" is often heady and based on the effects of physical attraction, we hold this aspect of our marriage dear and understandably expect that these exclusive feelings will last a lifetime.