Tag: forever

Marriage is supposed to last forever, isn’t it? When we decide to get married, we truly believe that forever will happen. Sometimes that’s easier said than done because most of us don’t have realistic guidelines or tools to know how to make a marriage last. When we fall in love, we usually think that’s all we’ll need to be happy. However, when reality sets in and we have our first real argument, we get hit with the realization that our spouse isn’t perfect.

In the beginning of a relationship we do our best to give our partner the benefit of the doubt, expressing our love and goodwill, even when we’re upset.

The first argument is the most crucial argument you will ever have in your marriage, setting the stage for all arguments to follow. Future conflicts will often look and sound like they’re different, but most times they are simply variations of the first, unresolved argument. Understanding that the first argument is a tool for healing, rather than just a random conflict, can spare yourself years of grief, hopelessness and helplessness in your marriage.

Minimizing the chaos, confusion and stress in your marriage, therefore, is accomplished by understanding what you’re really arguing about. The first argument teaches what is important to each individual in the marriage, by linking back to each other’s underlying core issue.