Tag: Jonathan Robinson

Ron and Patty had only one big problem in their 25-year marriage. Unfortunately, because they never resolved how to handle the "chores" issue, they were constantly bickering. Despite 25 years of heated discussions, they hadn't made much progress. Like most couples with a thorny issue, they were still trying to decide whose problem it was, and the mere fact that they were still arguing about it made them even madder.

At least once a week Ron and Patty would each present "evidence" to indicate that they were the one doing most of the work around the house. Secretly, they each hoped their spouse would finally realize the errors of their ways and apologize for the inconsiderateness. Of course, this never happened.

I have a $500 question for you: Could you make your spouse feel upset in under one minute? Most people answer an emphatic, "Yes!"

To accomplish this, you would probably bring up some event, person or question that invariably irritates them. The term for this is called, "pushing my buttons." When someone pushes your buttons, it is commonly accepted that you have no choice but to get upset. Over time, your spouse usually learns where all those buttons are.

If you’ve ever had a nasty, screaming argument with your spouse, you know you don’t want to go there again. In such situations, no one wins. The problem is, when faced with tense times and difficult problems to handle, our tendency—especially for us guys—is to resort to caveman like behavior.

Fortunately, there are many things you can do. If you follow a few simple rules and methods, you can avoid most—if not all—arguments with your spouse. When you learn to work through your difficult times without resorting to yelling and insults, you’ll find there will be a deeper love to share between you and your husband or wife.