Tag: marital

Making your marriage healthier, stronger, and more pleasurable doesn't have to take months and months of hard work in couples' therapy. In fact, when two partners commit to focusing on solutions rather than problems, and making positive behavioral changes together, they typically experience noticeable improvement right away. This is what I call "marital enrichment."

Here are five marital enrichment exercises to do with your spouse that will make an enormous difference in your happiness and the functionality of your relationship. I have taught these five hands-on exercises to hundreds of couples over the years, and they really work wonders.

On your wedding day, you probably dreamed of sun-filled years of happiness, laughter and sheer delight. However, conflict in marriage happens, so when the metaphorical "boxing gloves" come on and you’re fighting with your spouse it's important to keep it clean.

Fighting fair is about respecting your spouse, even in moments of disagreement. Arguments are not justifications to be mean, say whatever you want or drudge up the past with your spouse. Fighting fair is about getting your point across, but doing it in a way that’s not hurtful. Here are four steps to help you fight fair and resolve conflict effectively:

Usually we’re surprised by an affair because we’ve ignored the early warning signs, such as arguments that never got resolved, or built-up feelings of resentment due to diminishing communication and emotional and sexual interest. We don’t realize that these are the seeds of affairs. We don’t take these signs seriously because we think the issues will go away or resolve themselves. But they don’t. They unconsciously build momentum, and before we know it, we have found out that our partner has cheated…without us even knowing the marriage was in trouble.

No matter what your situation—if you did or didn’t know about the affair, or if you didn’t even know you had marriage problems—you don’t have to blame and shame yourself.

Affairs occur even during good times and within good marriages. Experts estimate that over 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women have affairs. While spouses like to think it could never happen in their marriage, no one is immune. During particularly stressful times—like now—it’s even more likely for spouses to seek affairs. In order to avoid such trauma, it’s helpful to know why men seek affairs during troubling times, and how you can use specific communication methods to avoid such a fate.