Tag: masculinity

We live in confusing times for men.

There is no doubt that men have a history of domineering, and sometimes even misogyny. For all the merits of true masculine energy, at times it became toxic and caused harm.

But in our enthusiasm to rid the world of toxic masculinity, it seems that all masculinity has come under attack. Men today receive the overwhelming message to not identify with their masculine nature. To not assert themselves firmly lest it cross the line into domineering like it did for so many thousands of years.

A lot of attention is paid to men’s fitness and their physical health, but consider this: 6 million men are diagnosed with depression each year in America, and they account for 79% of suicides in the United States. These are shocking statistics; and they reveal the devastating consequences society’s views of masculinity have on men and their mental health.

Boys grow up to be men with the understanding and expectation that they need to be tough, independent, and above all else, masculine.

I admit it. I feel a little sorry for men sometimes. Even now, in the 21st century, cultural conditioning has led them to believe they must fit into certain boxes of masculinity. Boxes that tell them things like, "Be a man" and "Women like tough guys" and "Suck it up."

In other words, men are taught to suppress their feelings, never be insecure, walk with confidence and swagger, and not EVER cry. Doesn’t that sound a bit harsh? Not to mention unfair. I think so.

You tend to give more to others than you ask from them. You find yourself holding your tongue, avoiding conflict and accommodating the needs of others. You hesitate to take care of your own health, take space for yourself, or take a day off. You find yourself feeling misunderstood, run down, disengaged from the very people you serve and love.