Tag: needy

Every second of every day, there is some relationship being damaged or lost because of neediness. But neediness is not a disease. It is not genetic. It is not inevitable. And, it can be completely overcome. In every relationship that I help to reconcile, there is some aspect of overcoming neediness. I work with the real down and out relationships. You know, the ones where one spouse wants out or cares little for the emotional well being of the other. Most counselors believe the best thing to do in this situation is to help the couple to end their relationship—amicably or otherwise. Well, I can agree that in many aspects that is easier. But, most of the time it is not necessary.

There is something about the word "needy," a desperate quality that we shy away from.

Unfortunately, that desperate quality also gets attached to the word "need," so when you have a need you’d like from your spouse like, "I need more loving," it’s tempting to think; "I’m being too clingy, I shouldn’t need so much from him/her, I should be happy with what I’ve got."

More often than not, when we find ourselves thinking "I need more affection;" "I need you to be more supportive;" "I need you to be more considerate," we discount that need and push it aside while we wonder why we feel so unfulfilled.