Tag: perfect

Grace, 14, is a straight A student, a star on her basketball team, and tries desperately hard to be perfect in everything that she does. And, in her words, it’s not enough to be perfect; "I feel every day like I have to be amazing!" That’s obviously an impossible benchmark to live up to, but Grace continually strives to reach it each and every day.

If that’s not bad enough, even being an amazing young girl seems not good enough these days. The level of competition amongst girls in academics, sports, socially, and with their appearance is incredibly intense, and it’s a 24/7 contest with no end in sight.

With the barrage of information available about what makes for great sex, we can easily get sucked into a perfection syndrome. This simply means that sex, even for those in committed relationships like marriage, can end up being all about the striving for perfection. In the bedroom, everyone wants to know he/she has scored an A+ and is definitely the teacher's pet.

While admittedly everyone may want to have great sex, in the grand scheme of things, the idea of the perfect sexual encounter has perhaps assumed unrealistic proportions. Sex in this vein has become extremely goal-oriented.

You and your spouse wait for your mom to finish getting ready so you can go to lunch together. As you do, your other half absentmindedly straightens pictures on the wall, lines up magazines on the coffee table and puts the coasters back in a neat stack. You stand it as long as you can before you blurt out, "Honey, you don’t have to be a perfectionist in other people’s houses! Please, can't you just leave things alone?" Caught and embarrassed, your husband laughs a little. Your mom appears and off the three of you go.

Waiting for the cashier on the way out, you notice your husband straightening the cards on the cashier's counter and replacing a menu stuck out of order. You want to scream.

Seeing those bright red cards and shiny hearts when I just finished celebrating New Year’s causes me stress, which can lead to anxiety and then fear…yes, fear! After all, Christmas and New Year’s have barely ended, and I’m already pressured into thinking about creating yet another perfect day, which I may not do right (causing stress), which may cause hurt feelings (causing anxiety), and which could possibly lead to a fight about our relationship (causing fear that our day will be ruined by dredging up old, unresolved issues)!