Tag: pressure

Dear Mr. Dad: The assistant principal at my daughter’s school called me in for a meeting today and told me that my 12-year-old is bullying several children in the school. I am in shock. This isn’t behavior I’ve ever seen in my child and I’m frankly having a hard time believing it. What should I do?

As tempting as it may be to dismiss this as some sort of mistake or overreaction on the part of the school principal, you need to take these complaints seriously.

Sometimes the very things we find attractive in our spouse may actually be warning signs they may not be great traits to maintain a healthy marriage. Those high expectations that make him a success in business, may turn to unnecessary pressure in a crisis. That dramatic flair that makes him or her exciting, may actually keep him from being a comfort to you in a time of need.

Here are five warning signs that your spouse may not be good in a crisis.

If you want to give your kids an edge in life, teach them to perform under pressure. Doing so will be more helpful than giving them an SAT tutor, tennis lessons, or sending them to Europe to broaden their cultural awareness.

The fact is, most kids crumble under pressure—they perform below their capabilities when they want to do their best. I learned this truth while researching my latest NY Times Best Seller, Performing Under Pressure.

It’s difficult to relax on the Internet, especially social media—Twitter and Facebook are like open microphones where everyone is simultaneously speaking their opinions about everything, all the time. The pressure to have an opinion and to share it in new, cleverer and louder ways can be quickly exhausting. I find myself forgetting what I really care about, losing track of my own feelings, and becoming numb to my body.

With the new year in full swing, you’re probably looking forward to taking advantage of new opportunities that will help your business grow and blossom. What you aren’t looking forward to is another year full of Client A cursing you out every time you have a meeting. Or Client B always asking for more, more, more and then complaining once they get the bill. Or Client C being so slow to respond that every project takes twice as long as is necessary. These are the clients who starve your business of the energy it needs to grow and prosper. We suggest it might be time to do some winter pruning and cut off those bad branches.

There are several ways that I have noticed parents today are hindering the successful development of their children. Here are 5 that are most harmful.

1. Parents are setting kids up to fail in college. The best predictors for success in college are having high levels of grit, hope, optimism, and self-efficacy.  Too many parents rescue their kids, solve their problems, and take responsibility for their boredom, happiness, and motivation; leaving them weak and unable to handle the normal ups and downs of life.

Grace, 14, is a straight A student, a star on her basketball team, and tries desperately hard to be perfect in everything that she does. And, in her words, it’s not enough to be perfect; "I feel every day like I have to be amazing!" That’s obviously an impossible benchmark to live up to, but Grace continually strives to reach it each and every day.

If that’s not bad enough, even being an amazing young girl seems not good enough these days. The level of competition amongst girls in academics, sports, socially, and with their appearance is incredibly intense, and it’s a 24/7 contest with no end in sight.