Tag: problems

From high expectations, financial worries or even judgmental in-laws, the holidays have a special way of adding stress to relationships. Oftentimes expectations are so high they can leave you feeling drained, tired and not wanting to go anywhere.

While planning is required to pull off the season smoothly, it’s important to troubleshoot relationship holiday hang-ups along the way. Here are five common problems that pop up during the season and how to resolve them.

Life on planet Earth is riddled with problems. Little problems, big problems, we all have them, pretty much every day. But what matters isn’t the problem, it’s the solution! And oh, how easy it is to lose sight of that. My phones went down a couple of months ago. Since we don't get cell reception where I live, I am completely dependent on my landlines. That's why I have two of them, in case one of them goes wacky. Except this time both lines went out, and given how important communication is in my line of work, I was in full-blown panic mode.

Monica glanced past the computer screen in front of her to her husband, Will, at the other side of the room. The distance she felt between them was like a vast ocean. She blinked and looked back at the movie show times on her screen. Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day and it had been their tradition since they were first dating to go catch a flick together on this day. She wondered how she could be so close to another person but feel so far apart.

Was he thinking the same thing?

One of the most common complaints I hear in my workshops is that the honeymoon is over. After a year or two of marriage, many people openly admit that they wake up one fine morning and feel as though they are living with a stranger.

The research of the renowned anthropologist Helen Fischer points to the evolutionary reasons for the official end to the honeymoon is, "to be expected." Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity acknowledges the problems inherent in monogamy with a sigh. However, I have a different spin on the heart of the matter. The honeymoon, which is over, is the one we had with our own romantic idea of the other person. We were in love with our unrealistic expectations and so we cloned ourselves a spouse! Do you know of any reality that can compete with a fantasy?