Tag: religion

"Why did you stay so long?" was the question my mother asked me when I finally got a restraining order and filed for divorce to end my abusive marriage of 20 years to my first husband.

She asked me that question after I had fled the state of Oklahoma in July 2009 with my two young children and found refuge in the home where I had grown up 10 hours away in Mississippi.

I thought to myself, "Really? I can’t believe she is asking me that, because she knows what our church teachings were about divorce." Basically, that it is wrong. At weddings I heard the scripture many times that said, "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder."

In my 30-plus years of practice in the field of family law, I have found that what drives couples apart are differences, but most of these differences surround opposing points of view regarding how to handle money, the meaning of monogamy and how to raise the children. Certainly, there are disputes over religious leanings, but overall, I have found that religious beliefs come in many "flavors," and what seems to be important is for a couple to value spirituality individually and as a guidepost in the marriage.

Making conversation is the key to shining like a Christmas star at the office party. Chatting only with your spouse or your buddies from your department will earn you a lump of coal for a missed opportunity.

When you are stepping outside of your comfort zone and talking with people, you don't see often or know very well, the art of conversation takes a little preparation. Here are a few tips to get ready for the office party or any other event where you're mingling with a mixed crowd:

Every month Eric dreads opening the credit card bills. No matter how bad he thinks it will be, it’s worse, even though he repeatedly—sometimes gently, sometimes angrily—has begged his wife, Jessica, to reign in her spending. Nothing he says gets through to her. For her part, Jessica says she is only spending what she feels she has to in order to dress herself and their children as well as the neighbors do and to make their home as nice as their friends’ homes.

Every couple has to work out agreements in what we call the nine different areas in a marriage. These universal issues have been identified by family researchers.