Tag: self-esteem

Confidence in the goodness of another is good proof of one's own goodness.” ~ Michel De Montaigne

Many relationships suffer from a lack of self-esteem. A relationship’s self-esteem is connected to that of the partner’s, but it also has a life of its own. Genuine esteem is founded in the courage to see oneself truly, both the positive and negative aspects of who we are and how we function and malfunction in the world.

Nothing is more wonderful for the human spirit, body, and mind than the free and uninhibited expression of sexuality. Nothing is more glorious than the joyful sharing of physical pleasure between two generous, enthusiastic human beings. A current plague of confusion and self-consciousness causes most men to have less sex than they would like, and they enjoy the sex they do have a lot less. Valentine’s Day is a perfect excuse to buck this trend.

"Mom, I’m so fat. I need to go on a diet," says your 10- (or 6 or 16) year-old daughter as she pinches at her belly. Your stomach drops. She’s too young to be feeling this way!

You are flooded by a tsunami wave of thoughts and emotions:

* It’s my fault!  I’ve disliked my body for so many years.
* It’s the media’s fault!  I shouldn’t let her watch so much TV.

The word acceptance is a loaded term that is used in all types of media. It is utilized in self-help circles and the psychotherapy world. It is tossed around on talk shows and in relationship books. Folks forever strive for this magical place, but they are generally unclear about the true definition of the word. As a culture we are addicted to reaching this mythical state of acceptance.

We falsely learn that acceptance is a state that you have to be worthy enough to reach. If you are not a good girl or boy, you will be forever ostracized from "acceptanceville." Instead of instilling good feelings, this search leads to decreased self-confidence, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and feelings of hopelessness.

The problem with weight loss is the word itself: loss. It has too many negative connotations for most of us, even though shows such as The Biggest Loser is a successful enterprise. And if you were to ask me at this very moment, "How do you want to be remembered?" I would not reply regarding how thin I was. Instead, I want to be remembered for my substance.

Sticking with a healthy meal plan is all about dropping unnecessary weight, feeling lighter and floating on air, like when you first fall in love and everything and everyone was perfect.

I hold a somewhat unpopular view on cheaters and being cheated on. I see little difference between being the one who goes outside the bounds of a committed relationship and being the one whose been cheated on, even though it might not seem that way in the moment. My opinion is that both people are looking to regain their self-worth, dignity, and self-respect during and after the affair. Both people are hurting and both people need to create and own their personal lives without blaming or using another.

Have you heard the term "Social Media Obsession?" Essentially, SMO is defined as the quest to have the most friends and/or followers on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and the like.

Unfortunately, a lot of people (even those who don’t qualify as obsessed) are now tying their self-esteem to the ways in which their lovingly constructed posts and adorable selfies are responded to (or ignored). In other words, their self-worth waxes and wanes with the number of online "likes" they get.