Tag: sexual fantasy

"This is the body that engages in sex, a body with so much soul that any attempt to deny its layers of meaning will come back to haunt us."  ~Thomas Moore

  Maybe the smartest book I have ever read about how sexual attraction happens and why it is such a powerfully transformative healing response came from Stanley Siegel’s book, "Your Brain on Sex."

We all dream of making our fantasies come true—or at least making them vivid and heart-stopping, like a sexual thrill ride. Few of us tire of wanting to know our lovers’ fantasies, and we continually quest to satisfy them. I know this is true—because I’ve spoken to an endless stream of customers who visit the women-run sex toy store where I work. They want to know how to make coupled sex hotter and seek practical inspiration for spicing up their routine. It seems like everyone wants something hotter, newer, more arousing, and more inspiring.

If you’ve ever read a book on getting your sex life back on track, inevitably the author espoused the benefits of bringing fantasy into your bedroom. I whole heartedly agree that fantasy—whether in your head, talked about with your spouse or acted out—is a simple way to add incredible zest. Best of all fantasy play is fun, easy and free.

So if fantasies are so great why don’t more couples indulge?

Everybody has fantasies they don’t share with others. They can be fantasies of striking it rich or fantasies of becoming so successful in your chosen career path that your colleagues fall into a hushed, respectful silence whenever you enter the room.

And then there are sex fantasies, which can be a grating source of tension in a marriage, and which are as often as deliberately hushed-up as opinions about in-laws or weight gain.