Tag: silence

Do you feel like you’re talking to a wall when your spouse is sitting right next to you? Do you find yourself not talking to your spouse because you know they’re not going to listen? Or, do you avoid certain topics for fear of a long, drawn-out dissertation from your spouse?

In my practice, I find this to be a common problem with couples. Tuning out your spouse can signal the beginning of trouble in the relationship and, if not addressed and dealt with, can eventually cause resentment and relationship breakdown.

If this is happening in your marriage, what’s going on and what can you do?

People from the Orient are acquainted with the term "enlightenment." People from the West are more acquainted with the term "awakening," but both terms describe the same thing.

So what is "awakening" or "enlightenment?" In the Western tradition, Abraham Maslow was the pioneer in studying the wonderful experiences that accompany this state. He called them "peak experiences." They are magical, wonderful, expanded experiences of being wholly present in the moment. They entail feeling fully alive, being so present that you feel and sense everything around you and everything inside of you. It was a very magical, beautiful experience he discovered as he researched the nature of self-actualization many years ago.

"Be no longer tender. Cover me with frenzied kisses, – even as I would drench my body in the cruel torrents of the rain. Envelop me from throat to ankle in delirium intolerable…" ~ Blanche Shoemaker Wagstaff

  Accessing our deepest erotic selves can be as simple as tapping into the power of our own voice, exploring the range of sounds we create in the throes of intimacy and getting comfortable uttering dirty words. Silencing our sexual sounds is an odd and yet remarkably common holdover from our earliest sexual experiences that can shroud our lovemaking for decades.