Tag: spontaneous

There is a mindset that many people agree with in terms of sex: it is believed to be instant chemistry from the very beginning. As we drink the wine of romance we become drunk in the belief that sex, even in long-term relationships, is easy, tension-free, and uninhibited.

It’s kind of ironic that our willpower society encourages us to manifest our careers and health through deliberate work ethic, but tells us our sex lives must only rise in the spontaneity of the moment.

Let’s face it, most people are creatures of habit. Our work lives do not differ much from one day to the next. We typically eat, sleep and work. We then press the "repeat" button and conduct ourselves the same way on the next workday. Our weekends are not much different. We gravitate toward the same activities, groups of friends and rotations of the same restaurants.

Being a creature of habit is comfortable. It provides a degree of continuity and stability to our lives. However, being a creature of habit may make a marriage particularly uncomfortable, so much so that it could be the difference between a marriage thriving and failing.

Did you ever feel like your marriage had to fit in with how society said it should? Perhaps you even followed the example of marriage from your parents or your other married friends? It might seem natural to reference other examples or traditions of marriage to know how you and your spouse’s life together should be. Depending on the example, you might have decided that after a few years of marriage, you should have a house, enjoy spending all your time together, have at least two children, then a dog and have big family vacations every year.