Tag: STOP

Have you had an interaction lately with your child (even if your child is of voting age), your spouse, or co-workers that has left you seething, angry, disappointed, or frustrated; and then, on top of that, found yourself ruminating about what just happened?

It’s probably hard to choose among a few choice four-letter words that come to mind. Honestly, this happens to all of us too often. Caught in a spiral of getting triggered by a situation, we then compound the stress we feel as we re-live it over and over in our minds long after it’s over.

I’d like to be able to tell you that teens don’t use drugs. Unfortunately, that’s not true. I wish I could assure you that tweens—kids ages 9 to 12—wouldn’t think of using drugs. But I’d be lying.

In my practice, I see tweens every day who are experimenting with alcohol and drugs, always without their parents’ knowledge. It’s not uncommon for tweens to first try drugs in middle school. Even if they don’t become hardcore users, just this short exposure can have dire consequences for the rest of your child’s life.

You and your husband are on the outs this morning—the aftermath of last night’s fight has sunk in. Even though you resolved things before going to bed, he’s grumpy and leaves without giving you a kiss goodbye.

As you revisit the fight in the midst of work, chores, the kids and all the rest, you start beating up on yourself. Why do you have these fights anyway? It’s probably your fault, you think. You’re just too picky. You rag on yourself for not appreciating what a great guy he really is, and how horrible you are and, by the afternoon, you’re a weepy mess certain your marriage would be perfect if only you weren’t such a terrible spouse, stupid and inept.

Your spouse, in hot pursuit of a promotion (or just struggling to keep their job) has been putting in overtime at work and you ask yourself, "Who is this person snoring in my bed at 2:00 a.m.?" You do your best to be supportive and handle daily life, while the other is to all intents and purposes, absent. You figure every marriage goes through periods like this where you set aside your personal desires for the good of your spouse.

Frustrated, and craving for attention, a dynamite-looking temp or newbie walks into the office and you begin to notice that this person has eyes for you.

Gossip can be a major threat to a marriage, especially when a mother gossips to her son about his wife and a wife gossips to her family about her husband.

If your mother-in-law gossips to your husband about you, here’s what you can do. Gently tell your husband, "I‘d like to start having a healthier relationship with your mom, so in the future, I‘m going to communicate directly with her instead of gossiping to you about her. And I need for you to start refusing to listen to your mom gossip about me, too. The next time she starts to say something negative about me, I’d like for you to say, ‘Mom, I don’t like being caught in the middle, so I’m not willing to listen to you criticize my wife anymore. I need for the two of you to talk directly to each other from now on.’"