Tag: success

Often, when we are told to "make peace with" something, it’s in a challenging context, as in "make peace with" your current weight, bank account, relationship, etc. And indeed, the only way to move forward toward whatever your desired goal is to first make peace with wherever you’re at in that journey. So yes, by all means, do that!

However, the one "make peace with" we rarely think about is to "make peace with your dreams." Too often, we dismiss our dreams and desires as too far-fetched, impossible, unreachable, and we stop before we start. Or we start, and then halfway there we figure, "Oh, this is ridiculous; I’ll never make it" so we give up on our dreams.

Recently I came across the Dalai Lama’s "18 Rules of Living,” which he shared with the world at the beginning of the new millennium. Here, 18 years later, it seemed relevant to revisit them.

In particular, I was struck by his rule: "Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it." At first I thought, "What?” As women, for example, many of us had been told umpteen times that we couldn’t have both a thriving family life and a successful career. Fortunately, that has been changing (although I still wonder why men were exempt from that contradiction!).

Why does the underdog story work? Think about every great movie you love. It likely contained the most essential element of any great movie: character. In that character’s journey, you probably got a taste of their underdog story.

When I’m called in to help a lawyer discover the right story for his client, I’m waiting for it—because it’s always there. It’s something you learn to look for when you’re in the business of storytelling and human motivation.

I hate to scare you parents, but this is the ultimate job of a lifetime. This is your chance to make an impact, a difference in the world, all while creating a unique and special bond for eternity.

A child is so much more than the sweet helpless one-year old you swaddle in your arms, with those gorgeous doe eyes that gaze up into yours for security, love and guidance. This is a beautiful soul, that’s watching and listening to the person he or she trusts the most, you!

I was at a big stand-up paddling race with my friend Bill, watching the pros battle it out for the big bucks in the sprint race. I was amazed at how deftly they could maneuver at high speed around the eight cones on the course, zipping through 180-degree turns while simultaneously surfing 4-foot tall waves.

I was scared to death of waves and equally afraid of the turns, so I always stayed away from races that had a lot of either. As the race leaders rounded the cone closest to the beach, I asked Bill why the pros were so much better than we were, and without hesitation he said, "they're not afraid to fall in."

The days roll by and sometimes you might wonder, "What did I do today? Did I get any closer to my goals and dreams?" Life gets busy and you get focused on what has to be done, not what you want to do. Your goals could be anything from finally losing those last 5 pounds to changing your career or moving to a new location.

Maybe every January you make the resolution that, "This year will be the year," but before you know it December rolls around and you are making the same resolution for next the year.

There are several ways that I have noticed parents today are hindering the successful development of their children. Here are 5 that are most harmful.

1. Parents are setting kids up to fail in college. The best predictors for success in college are having high levels of grit, hope, optimism, and self-efficacy.  Too many parents rescue their kids, solve their problems, and take responsibility for their boredom, happiness, and motivation; leaving them weak and unable to handle the normal ups and downs of life.