Tag: tension

Sometimes, when I can remember to, I stop what I am doing for just a minute or two and notice what’s happening in my body. Often as not what I find when I do this are areas of tension—especially in my neck, jaw, shoulders—that are uncomfortable, even painful. It’s as though my muscles and fascia have tightened into a kind of protective armor against life’s unpredictability.

We receive a constant stream of information through our senses, most of which is totally out of our control. Without consciously realizing we are doing this, we tighten, shut down, as a way of attempting to arm ourselves against the chaos of life.

"You can choose your friends but not your family."

As cliché as it might sound, the statement relating to family is very true: your family can either be your strength or your weakness. During the holidays family matters seem to take center stage because it is a time when conflicts, money and feelings can be tested. How you choose to handle conflict will determine whether you can actually enjoy one another’s company during the holidays.

When conflict arises in your marriage, are you the person who’s quick to apologize, wanting to sweep everything under the rug so the tension goes away? Or are you the one who tends to hold that hurt for a while, allowing the offensive words to gain a life of their own?

Many of us identify with one approach or the other when arguments happen in love. The problem is neither response leads to a true reconciliation that enhances the relationship, leading to a better understanding of each other.

Grieving is an intensely emotional and unstable process in a marriage. As one or both partners grieve a loss, couples tend to downplay the extent of the stress it places on their partnership. They might not even recognize that escalation of fights or tension has its underlying source in grief. Marriages can expect to go through a period of turbulence.

Grandma and Grandpa just called to say they would like everyone to spend the holidays with them at their Florida condo. Just imagine: all the cousins going to the beach and playing in the pool together, all the adults sipping gin and tonics and having long overdue visits. It sounds like heaven, right? Um, well, maybe.

For some, family holidays mean one thing: run the other way!

If you think parenting issues create tension between you and your spouse, just wait until your sister starts issuing timeouts during the turkey dinner.