Tag: upset

Do you often find that you give more than others in your friendships, relationships, or at work—and don’t get back what you give out? Do you feel baffled, maybe even irritated or angry, as to why other people are not as conscientious and thoughtful as you are? You probably think about the needs of others a lot and wonder why they aren’t giving back the same as what you put in. Over time, these feelings can often lead to resentment.

Anger is an important emotion. It is an emotion that needs to be taken seriously. Like all emotions anger has an urgent message for us to listen to. The structure of an intimate relationship or a marriage allows many opportunities for anger, resentment, agitation, and frustration to manifest and show up; since it is a structure that you allow yourself to be the most vulnerable and have many set expectations.

As a peace-loving Libra, I’m always looking for ways to minimize conflict, ways for us to get along better, regardless of our differences. So I was quite taken with a post a friend forwarded to me: "Explain your anger, don’t express it, and you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments," (author unknown). Sounds nifty, doesn’t it?

Defending or Explaining?

Have you ever completely lost it with your kids? You’re not alone.

As parents we’re overstressed and sleep-deprived, strung out from juggling the demands of job and home, and teetering on the edge of sanity as we deal with our children’s worst behavior—toddler meltdowns, fights over the video game controller, texting at the dinner table and so on.

I have a $500 question for you: Could you make your spouse feel upset in under one minute? Most people answer an emphatic, "Yes!"

To accomplish this, you would probably bring up some event, person or question that invariably irritates them. The term for this is called, "pushing my buttons." When someone pushes your buttons, it is commonly accepted that you have no choice but to get upset. Over time, your spouse usually learns where all those buttons are.