What I have learned as a divorce attorney, and a husband, is that it is the little things that count. Anyone can buy flowers, candy, tickets to a concert or sporting event, but taking the time to plan some special “gifts” to give on Valentine’s Day add credit to the positives in your relationship. Keeping a relationship fresh and alive is critical to keeping a marriage or long-term relationship new and thriving. Many relationships fail because a couple is not implementing change, instead they are sticking to the same old routines and that can be evident when it comes to gift-giving.
1. Cook a romantic dinner and eat by candlelight: Cook whatever you can find in the kitchen, but dress it up! Make it look fancy. Put the food on your visiting-company-only china, for instance. Maybe you’re not the best cook, so consider the many supermarkets that have fully prepared meals that are tasty. Whatever you are spending on groceries for the week, forego a few items to accommodate the payment for this meal.
2. Make your own Valentine’s Day card: All you need is a piece of paper; pen, pencil (borrow some crayons from the kids or grandkids) or a magic marker. Write your own (very personal) greeting. You can make this card by writing one-word or one-phrase messages about some of the most treasured moments together. It is one of those cards your lover will never toss out.
3. Create your own photo album: Rather than letting some of those romantic photos sit on your phone, or in a box, drawer or chest, get them in hand and neatly arrange them in a notebook. Most of us have an old binder around the house in which to arrange them. If you’re in a newer marriage, this “gift” will show your new significant other that you are very aware of how special they are even early on in your relationship—that you have taken note of the special things you’ve shared thus far.
4. Write a poem or a song: And perform it for them. You don’t have to be a musician, a karaoke king/queen or a poet to pull this off. It can be comedic or dramatic. Either (or both) will clearly say “I love you” because your composition was just for them.
5. Give an old-fashioned foot or back massage: This is always a special treat for any of us. You can take the original card you just made and stick a coupon in it for a 30 to 60-minute massage. Either one will be a very special and relaxing gift.
6. Make a gift basket: Use items you can find from around your house that have not yet been opened, e.g., a bar of soap, a notepad, that unopened bag of Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookies, a can of nuts… top it off with your TV remote control with a Post-It that reads: “Your choice every day for a week.” This gift might require some scavenging around the house, and creativity, but it is well worth the effort! Then cover the basket with some colored cellophane paper and slap a bow on the top. Fill it with all the things they love.
If you’re looking to gift something to your children, you can give them one or more of the above—they’re universal. I would suggest you substitute the “romantic” dinner for a special dinner; one with a theme. Maybe it’s “Harry Potter,” maybe it’s “Shrek” or something Taylor Swift. Keep in mind, each of these gift suggestions will likely please your Valentine (whoever that is) because any one of them require effort and a deeply personal touch.
Each of us likes to feel special. And, when you choose to craft a gift, and offer ones that would not be meaningful to anyone other than your love(s), that says “I really love you.” If you are super ambitious, you can give all six of these. If not, even one of them will make for a very memorable and touching gift. Children and lovers alike will never forget this Valentine’s Day.
Steve Mindel
Steve Mindel, the managing partner at Feinberg, Mindel, Brandt and Klein in West Los Angeles and a Certified Family Law Specialist (by the State Bar of California Legal Board of Certification) was featured on the cover of Los Angeles Magazine’s Superlawyer edition. He also has appeared on KCBS, KABC, KTLA, KCAL, CNN, Good Morning America, The Today Show, and been quoted in many print publications as well, including AP and the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Business Insider, Good Housekeeping, Fox.com among others. A lecturer at Loyola Law School on family law, Mindel, graduated magna cum laude from both UCLA and USC Law Center. He is also a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and the International Academy of Family Lawyers. You can connect with on LinkedIn and at fmbklaw.com.
