Whether you and your partner are just starting out and want to connect more deeply, or you’ve been together for years and want to rekindle that connection, mindfulness is a wonderful tool to support your relationship goals. Here are three simple tips:
1. Practice gratitude in your relationship: Turn your mindful attention towards all you are grateful for about your partner. Here are some prompts to get you started:
* What about them makes you smile most?
* What do you admire most about your partner?
* What characteristic of their personality or way of being is most endearing to you?
* What about your partner inspires you most?
* What was one of the first things you noticed about them that drew you to the partnership?
* Recall one of your most meaningful times together. What did your partner do or say that was so impactful, and what does that reveal about the core of who they are?
2. Share your gratitude with your partner: This can be a conversation, a card, a letter, a song, a drawing—express your gratitude to them however it feels best to you! Let your partner know that you see what’s amazing about them. You can do this to celebrate an anniversary, birthday, or holiday, or special event or—even better—just for the heck of it! We all know how wonderful it feels to be acknowledged lovingly just for love’s sake.
3. Transform challenges with Loving Kindness: There’s no doubt about it: relationships take work. After the “honeymoon phase,” we begin to see our partner more clearly as the perfectly imperfect human that they are—and they see us more clearly, too! That’s not a bad thing; it’s just the reality of deepening your connection over time.
Challenges and frustrations are a normal part of life with a partner, but they don’t have to be so overwhelming when they arise. Next time you’re faced with one of these moments, try the practice of Loving Kindness. Loving Kindness softens the situation and creates more space for compassion.
As you expand your ability to have compassion for yourself and others, you open the doorway to the possibility of being mindfully calm, clear, and loving—even in the midst of a chaotic moment! Here are some examples of Loving Kindness mantras you can try. You can also create your own. Experiment with switching “you” for “I” and “we” and see how that feels.
Julie Potiker
Julie Potiker is a mindfulness expert with extensive teacher training in a variety of tools and methods, including Mindful Self-Compassion. Through her Mindful Methods for Life program offerings and her book, “Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm in the Midst of Chaos” Julie helps others bring more peace and wellness into their lives. For more information, visit MindfulMethodsForLife.com.
