Tag: attention

Most of us don’t realize how frequently we are checked out of our life. We struggle to stay present in the day-to-day with the never-ending onslaught of digital feeds and new devices that offer superficial connectivity at best, but we lose out on the true contact that feeds our soul and makes us human. More and more scientific research is showing how much we give up when we trade the voyeurism of social media for the real-time relating that makes us feel seen and heard.

Even more disturbing is how we are losing the muscle memory to do the messy and gratifying work of truly showing up, risking our heart, and communicating. It is in the trenches of our life, in the mess of people’s feelings spilling over onto us that we are really connected and that we can offer our best self.

ADHD is an often-misunderstood disorder that can be difficult, even for trained professionals to diagnose. The term itself - attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, invites us to make assumptions and associate it with a few select symptoms, chiefly hyperactivity and inattentiveness. In truth ADHD has a wide range of complex effects that impacts each of us individually and often unpredictably.

If you’ve done some web-searching, you may have noticed an overriding, cautionary tone. I respect that, and it’s worth pointing out that none is absolute or conclusive.

For those divorced parents who are ordered to share some type of visitation arrangement over the summer with their child(ren), there are always disruptions and potential issues that arise—ones that need to be dealt with during the back-and-forth transitions. For those children who spend the entire summer vacation with "the other parent" (because, perhaps, one parent lives on the other side of the country) the child(ren’s) return to the primary parent’s residence can be stressful, confusing, and depressing.

Rightly or wrongly, many people believe they can identify an individual who has ADHD based on sight, misinformation, or stereotype. Although people with ADHD may share some characteristics, there are many qualities of ADHD that you might not be able to recognize or correctly interpret.

ADHD is a human condition and is as complex and individualized as… well, we humans are! Furthermore, it is likely to appear differently in children versus adults, as well as between genders.

"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity." ~ Simone Weil

I am a daily meditator, which is another way of saying that I work with my own attention every day. As anyone who has ever tried to sit in quiet will attest, for as many days as I get to fall back into a deep pulsing vibration of stillness, there are the minutes of watching my mind flit from one thing to the next, repeating old fears and latching onto new anxieties. I sit, praying for a moment of quiet in the noise in my head.  And I try to remind myself, this is part of the practice too—learning about my own capacity for attention starts with witnessing it.

Not only are you going to thank me after reading this article and seeing the response that you get from your partner, you'll also want to thank me for saving you money. Although many of us enjoy receiving physical gifts, the gifts that I am presenting to you today aren't physical objects and don't cost a dime.

Whether you're in a relationship with a man or a woman, these gifts are gender neutral. So, let's get right into it!

1. Focusing on the positive: Have you ever beaten yourself up over something you did or felt that you could have done better? Have you ever had an insecurity that nagged at you and drained your energy? Of course you haven't because you're an alien.

Intimacy develops in all of our relationships when we are able to be honest with ourselves, honest with others, and express our vulnerability. Intimacy is often considered as a sentiment shared only by couples or in romantic relationships, but all of our relationships have varying levels of intimacy associated with them dependent on the level of honesty and vulnerability we are willing to exchange. Intimacy is the fiber that connects us to people. When we feel disconnected from ourselves and from others, it is usually intimacy and our intimate connections that need our attention and focus to bring us back into the very desirable state of intimate connection with others.