Tag: attention

Most of us need and want more connection and closeness with those in our lives. However, we have many things that keep us separate and distant from them.

What creates closeness and loving connections with those we love?

There are many theories and methods people have touted as keys to creating loving and close relationships; I am reminded by my own 10-year-old "wise one" about what the number one thing is that creates closeness for him and it’s being validated and being heard.

You care deeply about your clients, employees and co-workers. Of course you do. But if you’re like most people in the workplace (be they leaders, front line workers, or someone in the vast middle ground), you may occasionally do (or not do) things that send the wrong signal. And that signal is, "I don’t care."

This accidental carelessness is not surprising.

We’re all so busy these days. In fact, we’re overwhelmed—and when we’re trying to survive, sometimes even the most well-meaning among us don’t realize how we’re coming across.

Congratulations! You've finally realized you're not life's doormat, and you're ready to stand up for yourself. That's great! Only you find yourself caught in a dilemma: either you state your needs in such a way that your spouse doesn’t pay attention to you, or you come off like a raging bull and your spouse pays attention to you, but it ends up in fights or tears.

Neither approach is satisfactory. What to do? Simple: Ready, aim and fire.

What does that mean?

Oh, the joys and worries of pregnancy! Whether you are considering having a baby or are already on your way to welcoming a little bundle of joy, it’s natural for myriad questions to arise. If you’re like most people, the thought of having a child brings alive many hopes and fears.

Bringing a baby into even the healthiest of relationships is no simple task, and partners know that life will never be the same once the baby has arrived. One prevalent fear that many couples share is a deep concern about the impact of pregnancy on sexual intimacy.

"We do not learn by experience, but by our capacity for experience." ~The Buddha

Here is one of the great truths of life that many couples are missing in the constant search for something new—is that experience alone, too often, leaves us empty.

Instead, it is our attention, curiosity and opening that we bring to our life experiences that make them the powerful source of transformation that they are. This truth also explains why so many of us live such ridiculously distracted lives that often only detract from our immediate experience, keeping us at arm’s length from the insight and depth that our experience can offer us.

My wife is a flirt. She flirts at every party we attend, while we're out in public—literally everywhere. I know she loves me and I don't suspect her of any outside love affairs, but why does she have to behave like this? I feel like I should step in and express my feelings, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m uptight or smothering her. Should I put a stop to it? And if so, how?

This is the type of question that is deserving of a two angle approach.

First, you must first evolve your thinking. Our thoughts are the blueprint for your life and control your relationship in many ways you may not recognize. Be confident that your partner knows what you are thinking, even when you don’t say it. We often take ourselves and our relationships for granted, or conversely, take it all too seriously. Our negative thoughts unwittingly hold our relationships hostage, giving a lot of power to our unspoken doubts.