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4 Ways to Embrace Your Alone Time While It Lasts

Carpooling, champion games, making dinner, grocery shopping, tending to Sunday rituals… the day in and day out tasks of keeping a home and a family together. It can be tough when family life begins to unravel whether due to separation and divorce, kids leaving the nest or a loved one passing.

Each milestone can either become another hint of loneliness or a chance to begin to individualize again after years of familial responsibilities. Here are four ways to embrace your alone time so that you don’t fear lonliness… it won’t last.

3 Ways to Love What Is

The true heart of all human beings is the lover of what is.” ~ Adyashanti

This quote has stayed with me for days as I continue to wrestle with reality. All around me change is happening at a pace that makes me feel like I am on the run. Forget about managing it, I am barely keeping pace.

I know I am not alone in this experience of being overwhelmed by change. And I don’t think it’s a phenomenon of my trying to hang onto middle age that makes me resistant. Indeed, you could argue that I am responsible for many of the changes that are moving my life along a new trajectory.

Why We’re Wired to Resist Change and How to Open Yourself to New Possibilities

Have you ever known that a situation wasn’t good for you, or that a change in a situation would result in something better, but still found yourself hesitant to make the change? If so, congratulations: you’re totally normal!

Humans are hardwired against change. According to evolutionary psychology, human beings are wired to act in ways that keep us safe and increase our chances of survival. This served us very well while we were living in caves and running from mountain lions, and it probably still comes in handy when we find ourselves out in an alley at 4:00 in the morning.

The Unhappy Marriage During the Holidays

It’s the holiday season! A very special time of year to feel closely connected to the people we love and a time to be grateful for all the good things in our lives.

But…

* What if your husband or wife has had an affair?

* What if your spouse has been taking you for granted?

Don’t Make a One-Goal New Year’s Resolution, Make a One-Word Resolution

We all have good intentions when we make New Year’s resolutions, but fully 88 percent of us fail to achieve them. That’s because in our enthusiasm to make positive changes, we take on too much. We simply don’t have enough time, energy, and mental bandwidth to keep up with multiple resolutions in the midst of our hectic, stressful lives—and by February or March, our unsustainable resolutions are ancient history.

That’s why, as another January 1st looms on the calendar, we suggest radically reducing your resolutions—not just to one goal, but to one single word.

Holiday Family Conflict: Doing it the Same or Changing It

The holidays are steeped in deep tradition, and the media and retailers drive it in even harder. There are some of us who love it! After all, it’s a magical season filled with family, good food, gifts, and parties. But for a lot of us, the holidays are anything but magical, and they can actually bring dread to our psyches just thinking about all of the commitments, chores, and family issues that the holidays bring to bear.

It’s the season when unresolved family conflicts become a reality again, after a year of sweeping everything under the rug. We pretend it’s going to be okay this year, but we often find that nothing will have really changed since last December 25.

Creating a Spouse from Scratch

"After we’re married and he’s my husband, he’ll stop watching his sports on Sundays because that will be our family day," my friend Carrie assured me over lunch as she looked forward to her big day in just two months. I smiled as she spoke, remembering some similar plans her fiancé Jeff had shared with me recently. Jeff was thrilled they were getting married. Carrie could focus on being at home, taking care of the house and getting ready for the two kids they both wanted very soon.

Two months later, after their wedding day commenced and their married life began, you can imagine my dismay when Carrie came to me complaining that Jeff was refusing to stop watching his sports on Sundays.

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