Tag: choice

It’s inevitable: if you interact with other human beings, you’re going to be subject to an assortment of slights, glares and smirks (if not downright rude gestures). Whether their behavior is intentional or not, the driver that cuts you off, the person in front of you in the "15 items only" line with 25 items in their cart, the sales person who refuses to make eye contact as they text away on their phone—are all annoying.

Here we go… into the crazy holiday season again. Ready or not, it’s here. Love it, hate it, or couldn’t care less—this is a time of year when… how do I put this? People get crazy busy and energy is frantic many places you go.

Let’s be honest, it can be exhausting.

Especially if you’re the person who makes it all happen. Being sure all the gifts are perfect. Decorating all the things that need decorating. Cooking all the meals and baking all the treats. Hosting the parties. Going to the parties. Festivities GALORE!

We all have those people in our lives, the ones who apologize for the same thing over and over but never change their behavior. They say they are sorry, but after the 183rd time we all know the apology isn’t sincere. If they were truly sorry and wanted to change, then they would have done so by now. What can you do when someone keeps saying "sorry" for same old thing? And, if you decide to say something, when is the right time to do it?

I remember so clearly sitting next to my dad as we drove through town. I was discussing some injustice I had suffered and he looked directly at me and said, "no one ever said life was fair." I was completely devastated. Later on as my marriage crumbled in spite of my ongoing efforts to hold it together, I could still hear those words echo in my heart. Now as I raise two kids alone, attempt to build a new relationship and to expand my business, I am forced every day to face this inevitable truth. I decided to stop running from the obvious and to accept my dad’s wisdom, albeit with the help of a few sound strategies I’ve learned along the way. Here are 10 ways to get over the "it’s not fair syndrome."

The American Dream has evolved past the humble "white picket fence." Way past. We all strive for the "nice" home (as defined by HGTV and Pinterest) as opposed to the cozy one, keep a perpetual car payment instead of driving an older model, and chauffeur kids to an endless array of pricey activities rather than sending them outside. Call it creeping consumerism, entitlement, or plain old peer pressure. The point is, we see our hectic and expensive lifestyles as normal—and it’s time we realized that keeping up with the proverbial Joneses is actually extravagant and irresponsible.

Are you following your mission in life or do you feel disconnected from what you want to do, believe in and value? Are other people defining who you are? The more your time is organized around your values the more energy you gain from your activities. Here are a few ideas that can help you stay "on flow."

1. Figure out who you want to be and what you want to do. Many of us ignore our dreams in the interest of providing for our families, or because we think we don't deserve them—but all that does is leave us unhappy and listless. If this describes you, spend some time deciding what you want to do and be.

Choices are the best tool for preventing and stopping power struggles and rebellion with your children. There are a few ways you and your spouse can run into problems when it comes to giving your child choices. Here are a few guidelines for effectively setting limits within the choices you give them.

First, don’t give a choice if there is no choice. "Do you want to take your medicine?" sounds like the child has a choice. Instead say, "You need to take this medicine.