Tag: effective communication

Communication is beautiful when we are expressing ourselves, being understood, comforting someone, and being comforted. We all know that it takes more than one person to communicate, but I have observed that instead of really listening to the person who is speaking to us, sometimes we can be solely focused on being heard. This can cause misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and mistrust.

It is not always possible to pause with yourself before engaging in conflict with your partner. However, if you can create the pause, it will serve you greatly to do your own inner work before entering into the dialogue with your partner. Often when we just jump into the fight, we hope for something that we don’t get. This is usually because when fighting happens without forethought, either one (or both) people are triggered into their primal brains.

After my marriage ended, I swore I would never stuff down my emotions and act like everything was OK or remain silent about what I needed from a partner. I was going to be open and communicate effectively. I had no idea how hard it is to know what you want and articulate it. I had no idea how hard it is to express your feelings without hurting the other person. No wonder I just let things pile up internally in my marriage. I kept quiet and felt alone. No wonder when I finally couldn't take it anymore I recklessly and ineffectively exploded verbally.