Tag: flirting

Whether single or married, you’ve probably experienced the upside of flirting. Whether on the giving or receiving end, flirtatious behavior can feel terrific, and it can be great fun. "So..." you might ask, "what could be the downside of flirting?" Four simple questions give us the answers: Is flirting appropriate given the relationship status? Is there appropriate intent in the behavior? Is the setting suitable? Is mutuality present? Things can get dangerous when the response to any of these four questions is a "No!"

He says, "I love you," and you believe him. She says, "I'll be faithful to you forever" and you believe her. You assume what you hear is truth.

When your husband then calls you "stupid," "bitch," and "dumb," you are in shock—how could he say this if he loves you? When you glance at your wife’s Twitter feed and realize she’s flirting shamelessly online, you're appalled. Why is this happening? What's going on?

Let's get the big question out of the way—it's normal to develop a crush on someone other than your spouse. Unless you decide to live as a monk with absolutely no human contact it’s inevitable you will periodically meet someone who shares an attraction. You may think you’re the worst person in the world, but in truth you’re simply human. Chemistry is uncontrollable and a natural phenomenon.

As my deeply-in-love parents told me growing up, "We’re married, not dead." Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you suddenly stop noticing people. Crushes on bosses, co-workers, cute coffee shop attendees, waitresses, neighbors and anyone else you come into contact with on a regular basis is bound to happen…and that’s okay.

My wife is a flirt. She flirts at every party we attend, while we're out in public—literally everywhere. I know she loves me and I don't suspect her of any outside love affairs, but why does she have to behave like this? I feel like I should step in and express my feelings, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m uptight or smothering her. Should I put a stop to it? And if so, how?

This is the type of question that is deserving of a two angle approach.

It does not take years of marriage to discover that boredom has set in. For many, that indescribable thrill initially felt can vanish within even the first year of tying he knot. Listening, as I do, to countless men and women who have become disenchanted with their spouses, I have found there are many reasons this happens. Lack of trust is a huge factor, yet an even more frequent complaint is that a person has grown tired of or grown away from his/her mate, and life with their mate has become dull or boring with no pizzazz or spark.

In the beginning, flirting was probably effortless. From lingering glances to a flip of the hair, both of you were rapidly firing off cues that demonstrated a mix of interest and passion.

Fast forward a few years, past an engagement, marriage, honeymoon. Add in some careers, maybe a couple of kids, a mortgage, large appliances that need replacing, and before you know it, flirting is a distant memory.